Has this ever happened to you?: You’re on on a workout roll. Feeling super motivated and strong in your workouts then all the sudden it’s like a switch flipped in your body? Your motivation wanes and your body feels like sludge (or everything just seems way harder than you think it should be). The energy you have doesn’t match how hard you want to workout and you leave feeling defeated or like you didn’t do enough?
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Can you relate? I’ve been there so many times wondering what the heck was wrong with ME that I couldn’t “keep up” with what I started or be able to perform at my desired fitness level all the time.
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Turns out it wasn’t me that was the “problem”. Instead, it was my model of exercise and the expectation of my body that was failing me. You see, at the time, I didn’t know that women weren’t CREATED to be or feel the same every day, every week, every month. It’s not something we’re taught growing up and most of the models in place are masculine-driven and don’t serve the uniqueness of the feminine hormone/menstrual cycle. And this knowledge not only changed my life, but also my body and specifically my relationship to it. Our bodies is meant to cycle, to change – throughout the day, weeks, months and years and this is not only normal, but 100% predictable (contrary to what we’ve been led to believe).
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Every month, you go through four very distinct phases within your menstrual cycle (and if you’re not bleeding because you’re on birth control, pregnant, breastfeeding, in perimenopause/menopause or for any other reason, you follow the moon’s phases).
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The Four Phases Are:

• the follicular phase //  season = mimics the energy of spring // moon phase = waxing cresent moon
• ovulation // season = summer // moon phase = the full moon
• -the luteal phase // season = fall // moon phase = waning cresent moon
• menstruation // season = winter // moon phase = the new moon

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On a biological level, during each of these four phases or “seasons” of your cycle you will experience different energies, superpowers, insights, strengths and capabilities. And get this – these changing seasons call for naturally adjusting your workouts throughout the month based on the shifting needs of your body in order to FEEL YOUR BEST EVERY DAY.
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Here are some ideas to get your wheels turning!
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In your spring is a great time to try something new, do cardio work or combined cardio & strength.
Your summer is awesome for heavier training & HIIT.
Fall calls for a transitioning down into lower impact and less intensity – think barre classes, lighter weight & higher rep strength training and power yoga.
Winter calls for slowing down – rest, walking, gentle stretches and yin yoga.

So all this buzz about the effectiveness of interval training and “switching up your exercise”?  Your amazing feminine body has known this all along.

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I know what you’re thinking (because I was once this way too): “But I like to workout hard. And I don’t feel as good or like I’m using my time effectively if it’s not a challenging/sweaty/heart-pumping/work-my-body-to-failure type workout”. I hear you. And I honor where you’re at. Maybe just… give it a go. Experiment. See how it *feels* to listen to your body instead of dictate what it’s gonna do.
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Cause here’s what I learned – yes, I enjoy physically pushing my body to its limits (still do). But there is a distinct difference between pushing while listening (and when I have the energy) versus just plain PUSHING/killing (or punishing my body). As women, most of us, we’re good at pushing – we do to all day, most days – it’s familiar; and in some twisted sense, *easier* even than slowing down to LISTEN and respond (#guilty). Autopilot and putting our head down is for sure easier than building your awareness muscle and learning to frequently check-in with your body and soul (then adjust your schedule based on what you discover).
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When I *choose* to move more intentionally & meditatively or when I opt to push my body within the context of what will make me feel my best in that moment and those following, everything changes. I can walk away from a workout after choosing to slow down feeling successful + strong.
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If I ignored my body’s cyclical energy, I would instead walk away feeling defeated because I decided to push through anyways; beating myself up for not “having it in me”. Right? It feels SO much different. The key is OWNING and respecting your beautiful body. And that’s where your power is. Standing IN your body, not letting outside “shoulds” and “it has to look like this” stories dictate your choices. All you need to go where you desire is inside you. Always was, always is.

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PS: are you a gentleman here reading this post? Men and women hormonally cycle differently, yet similar. The cycle that women go through in a month, you do every day. Consider yourself like the sun – it rises & sets in the same place every day, going through the same hormonal phases. Women are like the moon – they show up in the a different place, have a different energy and are a different “size” every day over a month-long period.

You can visualize your hormonal cycle & energies looking something like this:
– From 4am – 10am = your “spring”
– From 10am – 4pm = your “summer”
– From 4pm – 10pm = your “fall”
– From 10pm – 4am = your “winter”

In other words, you can ALSO cycle your workouts for optimal results and key into your body’s needs – that are additionally impacted by what you eat, how much sleep you’re getting, your stress levels, and how balanced your hormones are.

Photo by Heather Brincko!

Do you know how you want to feel? Like on the daily? In every moment and every facet of your life? Energized? Connected? Abundant? Last year I used Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map to uncover my “core desired feelings” as a new way to set soulful goals (using how I want to feel in all aspects of my life as a compass). This year, one word just popped into my head on January 1st: SPACIOUSNESS. Meaning so many things, but on a very fundamental level spaciousness feels like space and looks like a blank canvas for crafting a life I love.

 

I think my desire for spaciousness was born from the push-pull I experienced in 2017. In my career I had some of my highest highs: from presenting at the IDEA Personal Trainer Institute West Conference among some of the best in the fitness industry to being the keynote speaker for the Washington Midwives’ Association Annual Conference. I had my first 5-figure online product launch and I co-founded a women’s wellness company (NourishYou) with my bestie Hilary Paris, co-leading 3 beyond-words amazing retreats. I got to work with hundreds of incredible people – through my fitness classes and my health + nutrition coaching. 

 

But I also went through some of my darkest moments – personally, relationally, as a mother and in my work. 2017 and I danced between expansion and contraction, growth and setbacks (on all levels – emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically). And while that’s life’s beautiful journey in a nutshell, this vastness between living a life that was fulFILLing versus just full or “pretty good most of the time” made me super clear one thing: where I choose to put my time, my energy, my thoughts and my efforts was the determining factor in whether or not I was manifesting a life that LIT. ME. UP.

 

And so for me, choosing S P A C I O U S N E S S this year and beyond involves truly listening to what my body needs and soul craves (versus dictating) and accordingly being open to how that evolves and changes over time (because there IS a season for everything, *nothing* is forever). It means having the ability in my life to say yes to anything that lights me up, energizes + inspires me and also the latitude to say “hell no” to that which doesn’t. It looks like picking and choosing who and what I fill my life, body and soul up with on a daily and moment-to-moment basis. This year in particular, it’s especially important to me as I intentionally make room for a possible addition to our little Mack family (no, I’m not pregnant! – but spoiler: I will be sharing my journey towards that possibility and also what that looked like with Will – prenatal and postpartum).

 

It also involves the ability to examine and let go of that which no longer serves me, immediately or with time. It’s done by creating space through (let’s be real – almost) daily meditation (whether 3 minutes or 20 – an amount is fantastic) but also movement (like yoga & mobility). Not sure meditation is your thing? All it is in stillness. A break from the hustle. The opportunity to tune in and listen to all the small & big ways my body + soul are talking to me on the daily and using that as a baseline to guide my next right action. 

 

This all might sound lofty (impossible even?). You see though sweet friend, what I’m learning is that the second I got clear on how I wanted to feel and accordingly created the space to feel and listen, the *easier* it became to navigate my life down the path of my desires and manifest my best life. A huge piece of why is because I wasn’t waiting to feel how I wanted – which so many of us do, right? We’re waiting to get “there”, for our life to be better tomorrow or someone to make us feel the way we desire. We’re waiting to lose the weight, to get “our bodies back”, to be seen or waiting for the time when life “slows down” – thinking that once any/all those things happen, we’ll feel ___________ (how we want to feel – and obviously the goal is to feel good).

 

Truth: everything will take as much time as you give it. Work. Your dreams/desires. Your relationships. Your body. So we must, we must take the time, create the space. No one can or will do it for you and real talk: life keeps happening while you’re waiting – often moving you in the opposite direction of your desires. Creating space, taking time for radical self-care and to LISTEN to your body + soul is not impossible. But it is the opposite of the way most of us live (and are wrongfully told is the pathway to happiness) – filling up our lives with things that don’t bring us joy, excitement or vibrance, continuing to push and say yes to more. Our lives our full, but we’re not fulfilled.

 

We’re also so judgy – of ourselves and others. Waiting for things to be perfect instead of engaging with the natural cyclicality of life and knowing that the way INTO a life we love is through adopting a learner’s mindset in all we do. When I am open to learning from every action (versus judging and shaming), when I bring conscious awareness into my thoughts and feelings (versus continuing to push and just get through, waiting to feel the way I want to feel or for someone to give me permission), I ALLOW light, love, vibrance and… spaciousness to flow into my life. It all begins with knowing how you want to feel and knowing that you CAN feel that way and create more of that feeling right now.

 

It also always takes experiencing the opposite of how we want to feel (many times over) – often coming to the place where we have no other option but to adopt a more embodied way of living – that we are able to see more clearly that which we need and deeply desire on all levels. And what 2017 taught me, thank GOD, is that it all starts small – with space. Space to create SPACIOUSNESS. Spaciousness as a feeling that opens up the possibility for you to truly live your best life and a life. you. love. – one that’s of course ever-changing but always lighting you up. 

 

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Photos by Heather Brincko and Kate L Porter.

 

I get asked often what “the best diet” or the “most effective method of exercise” is.

I usually respond by asking, “Well, how do you want to feel?”

The most common response I hear {in one way or another} is “lighter”. Lighter as in less weight {physical and emotional}. Lighter as in more comfortable in your own skin. Lighter as in less time spent worrying about what method is best and just knowing what will work. Can you relate?

When we become a mother, there is *so much* pressure to act like we’ve got it all together, to be perfect and to get our bodies and lives “back”. Let’s be real though, this doesn’t just extend to motherhood – as women we struggle our whole lives with trying to get the body we think will bring happiness and to act like we’re pulling off Superwoman status with ease.

But what if we changed the conversation? Changed the approach? What if instead of self-loathing our way “back” (or forcefully “into” a life + body we desire), we self-loved ourselves forward? Forward into a relationship with ourselves that embraced the changes we’ve been through and continually go through {physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and in every way I can think possibly of} and focused on creating joy, confidence and energy through radical self-love and acceptance?

What if the key to feeling lighter {in body & mind} and sparking lasting {postpartum and any} weight loss was made simple and enjoyable even, by following that exact path? And what if taking that approach also crafted a life where you feel good in your own skin right now {instead of after you’ve lost the weight}?

Flipping the conversation means that instead of waiting on the weight to live your best and most desired life, you focus on how you want to feel – physically, yes – but deeper – on a soul level. Specifically, what FEELINGS do you want more of? The goal is to fill your life with those feelings and small, daily actions you can take to feel the way you desire. For example, if you desire more joy {as in you desire to be joyFULL}, you can lead with the question, “what brings me joy?” // “what could I do right now to experience joy?” // “what food brings me joy?”.

Approaching your life from a place of being FULL {of the feelings you desire} shifts your focus from one of lack to abundance. We’re adding in the good stuff instead of self-loathing and forcing yourself to do things that to “get you there”. See the difference? To support you in trying this approach on, today I’m sharing three of my favorite strategies that I use with my health coaching clients:

 

WHERE TO START:

*PleasureFULL & JoyFULL* – Seek to Cultivate Pleasure & Joy Daily in Small Ways:

Anytime that there’s a lack of joy and pleasure {that are usually eaten up by the mundane tasks & responsibilities of your life – which definitely has a serious uptick postpartum and as a momma}, you experience an increase in food-based cravings – like baked sweets, chocolate, ice cream, soft + filling starches, ice cream, alcohol, salt and cheese (to name a few). Behind each craving is a 100% legitimate {usually NON-food based} reason that essentially boils down to an internal need you’re neglecting; and cravings are one of the ways the body communicates its needs + your soul’s desires. Most of us interpret these needs as food-based cravings, so indulge in them, then still wonder why we don’t actually feel better afterwards (not to mention the shame + guilt cycle we enter into).

Try this instead: CREATE A FEEL GOOD LIST. Write down as many things as you can think of – big and small – that make you feel good and bring you pleasure and joy {physically and emotionally}. It can be as simple as drinking more water and eating more vegetables at every meal to a spa day (in-home or a treat-yo-self situation), date night (or sex!) with your significant other, meeting up with girlfriends, moving your body, meditating, taking deep breaths, adding flowers to your desk, candles to your home, or reading a book. Anything and everything that makes you feel good that you could do RIGHT NOW. Then try to do at least one thing from this list every day and be sure to add in at least one thing (just for you) that you can look forward to!

 

*MindFULL* – When Your Weight Is Stuck, Look at Where in Life You’re “Stuck”: 

How often as women do we find ourselves “waiting on the weight” before we fully embrace life and do all the things we want to do? Or how much time do we spend imagining how awesome life would be if we were 10 pounds lighter? 40 pounds lighter?

Here’s the truth – you’re never going to get “there” – and even *if* you lose the weight you’d like, it doesn’t make your life full. Just as your body grows and regenerates every day, your soul needs growth as well. So I want to ask you: are you truly *living* your life right now {in all the ways you “would” if you were lighter/happier/richer/had more time} or are you just surviving? What are you not making space for that you KNOW would make you feel better? Believe me, I know there’s definitely an element of surviving during different seasons of your life and especially those first few months postpartum, but in order to bring yourself out of the fog, out of the overwhelm, out of the wallowing in “loss” of self or body, you must (you must!) spend time cultivating the needs of your soul (see below for some ideas on this!) in order to become “unstuck” in negative habits, thoughts patterns and beliefs that ALL stall weight loss efforts.

So if you feel like you’ve tried everything and are still struggling, maybe it’s not your outer body that needs addressing. As a fitness professional and Integrative Nutrition holistic health coach, I can tell you with 100% conviction that it’s not {only} the physical landscape (ex. food and fitness) that needs changing in order to make that stubborn weight budge. Instead, it takes an honest look at what emotional weight (which I believe we all come to bear in some capacity as a mother and a woman) you’re holding onto; the stories you keep telling yourself about your body and the attitude in which you approach your life, your body and it’s worth.

{Another important place to look as women, is how we’re supporting our cycle – and whether we’re submitting to and honoring the cyclicality of our ever-changing lives, talents and body’s needs or we’re completely ignoring them and sabotaging our hormonal health – more on that another time!}.

You can’t keep waiting on the weight, waiting for things to slow down or get easier, for life to happen for you – every season has its struggles, every season passes in the blink of an eye. So instead of forcing change through nutrition or exercise, what if you engaged in self-loving practices that made your life full? And by full, I mean that it’s imperative as a woman and/or a mom to take time for your own growth and care. Will (my son) fills up my heart in ways I’d never known or experienced, but that’s not a substitute for taking time for myself to recharge all the energy I output (physically, mentally, emotionally and on a soul-level) – and the same goes for any other relationship, career or commitment in your life.

 

*SoulFULL* – Seek to Fill Up on Soul Food:
Our soul foods are what really feed us and drive our happiness. They “fill us up” from the inside so that we don’t seek comfort, solace and fulfillment from the “outside” {in food or superficial things}.

Your SOUL FOOD includes:

• being surrounded with loving, deep relationships (with yourself and others)
• having a fulfilling, balanced work life and career (“career” being an interchangeable word with your life’s work and purpose)
• self-care – simply put, caring for yourself daily; doing things that make you feel good + recharge your energy, increase your vitality and create mental space
• engaging in a spiritual practice that gives purpose and meaning to your life

So if you’re frustrated and “stuck”, I encourage you to try these methods and take a look at your soul food. It’s a new path that involves loving yourself (as you are) and filling yourself up from the inside. It’s your answer to ditching diets, extreme exercise and actually getting the results you want. For reals. Let’s take up this new way together; change the conversation of how we treat ourselves so we can bring a fuller, more joyful self to every aspect of our life. You deserve it, beautiful. Sending love and light. -Whitney

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Did you like this post? Please share! If you can relate to it or have a comment/question, I’d love to hear from you! {whitney @ macksmo.com}. Together ladies, we are stronger and we deserve MO(re). So much love to you, all my readers!

 

{*Photos by Sarah Heitman & Kate L Porter*}

I get asked all the time if I’m a morning person. And for good reason, because I get up in the wee hours of the morning most weekdays. Like by at least 6am, but 3 days out of the week creeping into the 3:50 and 445am time slots. A few of the days for work reasons (example – I teach a 4:45am Strength & Mobility class on Thursday mornings), but other mornings, for me. So I have the opportunity to begin each morning on my terms and the way I want to feel: grounded, connected and calm with clarity and energy as a compass.

Regardless of whether I’m getting up for work or for myself, my mornings start the same way with the same rituals. These get me out of bed in the morning and are my surefire way to be energized – without fail and without the need for coffee. They help me wake up, no matter the hour or the amount of sleep that preceded – and you all know my stories there! Morning {and Evening} Rituals are another one of my healthy living non-negotiables because I’ve found that without these (whether I do one, some or all of them), I don’t feel the way I want to feel. 

And that’s what it’s all about right? Any goal you set, at its core, comes from the desire to feel a certain way – and likely different than you do in this moment. For example, the desire to lose weight might stem from wanting to feel light in your body, confident and sexy in your own skin, with less stress + worry, bursting with energy and vibrancy. 

The problem with looking at things from the goal-side first and only, is that it’s not tied to anything meaningful and tangible in a I-can-do-this-everday-and-not-lose-motivation sort of way. And you’re also looking at your life from a perspective of lack (aka what you don’t have). If you flip the conversation though and create a strong WHY rooted in how you want to feel, all of the sudden day-to-day and moment-to-moment decisions become so much easier.

Using the feelings associated with weight loss as a continued example – it becomes a conversation of: “what food or activity or decision would make me feel light in my body right now?” versus things we think we should be doing or have to do to reach our goals. Because truthfully – I know you. Inside there’s a little rebel who doesn’t want to do what you’re told or stick to “the rules” all the time. And I agree. That’s such a boring, black and white way to live life. No thank you.

When I lead with how I want to feel, what might make me feel light is yes, eating a meal rich in color + real food {always}, but also: meeting a friend for happy hour and sharing laughs + meaningful conversation versus sitting at home binge-watching Netflix alone because I’m “not drinking or doing this diet right now”; waking up 15 minutes early to energize my morning versus hitting snooze and then rushing around groggy all day; or even choosing to take a walk outside in nature versus dragging myself to the gym for a high-intensity workout that’s going to “kill me”. 

Do you see the difference, my love?

Do you FEEL the difference between all of those options above? The former are all filled with ABUNDANCE, love, joy, grace and the desire to LIVE your life right now, enjoying each moment with the intention and goal of feeling how you want to feel. Which, of course, will also happen to take you exactly where you want to go. It always does. But makes the journey one that you WANT to be on while feeling the way you desire right now (and as you’re on the journey) versus after you’ve “gotten there” (if you do).

And I really need you to know this: contrary to {almost} everything the media, fitness or health industry sells you, the path to where you want to go doesn’t need to be restrictive, painful or isolating. In fact, if it IS, jump off that train as soon as you can, sister! Then, reframe your mindset to be this: HOW DO I WANT TO FEEL? {Danielle LaPorte’s work in her book Desire Map is a great place to start if you’ve never approached goal setting this way before}. And then follow your intuition. The answers to your most vibrant self don’t lie “out there” in the newest diet, exercise trend, book or supplement. First and foremost, they lie in YOU – and knowing how you want to feel first, then noticing if the actions you’re taking, thoughts you’re holding or beliefs you’re operating by are making you feel that way, or not. 

So, swooping back to mornings — how do you want to feel to start your day? And even: how do you want to feel throughout your day that’s often deeply influenced by how you start your day? And what can you do to always start your day off on the right foot – regardless of how much you slept or what the day holds?

For me, I turn to Morning Rituals to ensure that my day starts with intention and purpose. Finding rituals that work for me has been many years of experimentation and also involves paying attention to where I’m at in my cycle, where my life feels “heavy” or overly-focused at the moment and noting what actually shifts my energy – physically and emotionally to make me feel: calm, centered, energized, grounded, empowered, rested or light (to name a few feelings I desire). AKA HOW I’m able to get out of bed {at un-Godly hours} and feel amazing regardless of my circumstances (like when Will does on sleep strikes).

Want to try experimenting with your own Morning Rituals or up the ante on your current ones? Below I’ve put together my tried & tested favorites {for myself and all my coaching clients}. Let me know which ones become yours!

• Get Your Flow On: As soon as I get out of bed, I “hit the floor”… and engage in some gentle + energizing movement flow to wake up my joints, connect to my breath and wake my body up. What I do changes depending on how stiff I feel, where I’m sore, how I slept or where I’m at in my menstrual cycle. Sometimes it’s 2 minutes, other times closer to ten, but by the time I’m done, my mind and body are aligned. Check out this follow-along video I created for and share with all my coaching clients and try it tomorrow: ENERGIZE YOUR MORNINGS.
• Create Headspace: Meditation can be hard. Or really, anything new can be hard, right? And sometimes awkward. Where we catch ourselves saying/thinking, “What the hell am I doing?” or “This is pointless!” Maybe you’ve tried meditation and it hasn’t “worked” or you think you don’t have time. But I bet if I asked you what you need MORE of in your life, it might sound something like: more calm, more space (and headspace), more clarity, more focus, more time, more energy, more purpose. Yes? I feel you – when your life is fast-faced, it’s hard to slow down or sit still. Relaxing or resting feels foreign and is undervalued in our modern world. But creating space {which is what meditation is, at it’s root} in your life is the gateway to all you desire. So if you’re new to the game, I encourage you to try these simple, timed meditations. It gives you an end game and something to do – which helps when you’re cultivating new habits!
  • Breath of Fire {3 to 6 min meditation with Gabrielle Bernstein} – set a time for 3 minutes and do breath of fire as shown in this video. When you’re done sit for a few regular breaths and set an intention for your day OR set a timer for an additional 3 minutes and sit with the vibrations in your body, connecting to your deepened breath.
  • 4-7-8 Breathing with Dr. Weil {set a timer for 3-5 minutes}. Counting your breath provides a great distraction for the mind, while simultaneously creating space. I love doing this one ANY time of day, even for just 5 cycles of breath.
  • This Healing Sound Bath Meditation by Laura Thompson Brady will give you shivers {click here to go to her website to download/hear it}. When I’m feeling the need to be in more stillness or connect to my soul, I listen to this – morning, noon or night. It makes every fiber in my being soften and “come home”.
• Warm Lemon + Ginger or Chlorophyll Water: After my movement and meditation {or beforeand ALWAYS}, I have water first, before anything else. Bare minimum, just water and 2 glasses. But ideally, one with chlorophyll drops {chlorophyll is a great natural detoxifier that helps boost oxygen uptake and is packed with antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties; it also has a yummy minty taste! You can grab it at your local health food store or on Amazon} and/or a glass with lemon juice and freshly grated ginger root {I shortcut the squeezing by using a splash from Santa Cruz’s Organic Lemon Juice in a glass jar}.
• Daily Devotions: I’m always reading some book – or 5. 🙂 They range in topic from spirituality, to self-improvement, healthy living inspiration to goal setting, hormones + connecting to my feminine power to parenting and beyond. And one thing I love to do with these books, to help them really sink in and to dedicate some time for stillness and reflection is what I like to call “Daily Devotions” – where I sit and read a paragraph, a page, a chapter {no set amount} and take notes + write my thoughts. I definitely don’t do this on the days I wake up in the 4am or before hour, but this is also one of my favorite things to do midday to refresh my mind + soul.

Did you love all the goodness and inspiration in this post? Make sure you never miss a post by signing up for my newsletter {click here!}. And I’m sure you’d love my Living Fully E-Cookbook too {Spring + Summer Edition} or the Fall + Winter Seasonal Meal Plan {8 weeks of grocery lists, recipes and meal plans plus weekly inspiration and themes to keep your holiday season inspired + healthy living simple — dropping next week! Email me to get more information!}. 

*Photo credit: the amazingly talented Kate Porter and myself*