I had a client and friend this week tell me she didn’t think she could keep going without medication. Her overwhelm and anxiety were through the roof and she couldn’t fathom any effective method of coping other than going on medication. She was at the end of her rope, end of her capacity.

Before I tell you my response to her, I want to ask: how about you? How’s your anxiety? Are you exhausted and/or burned out? Find yourself paralyzed in overwhelm?

What’s happening right now – between COVID, the election, the BLM movement // work, virtual learning for our children, losing access to our “third spaces”, limited social contact and support, working from home, to name a few major ones – it is A LOT. Actually, it’s more than a lot; it’s freaking ASININE. No ONE person can shoulder the responsibility, “work” or headspace that all of these, or even a few of these require. And let’s also be clear that there has never been a point in history where we HAVE had to hold all of these at once AND under one roof.

And what I’ve been hearing – from friends, clients, family and on social media, is thinking, once again, that’s something is wrong with YOU that you can’t “do it all”. 

“What’s wrong with me that _________?”

• I am not enjoying this extra time with my kids or I don’t feel the joy of motherhood (like I “should” or used to)?
• I am doing a lot less than “normal”, but I don’t feel like I have capacity for anything?
• I can’t feel joy right now?
• I don’t feel connected to my partner?
• I can’t handle all of this or even the simplest things?
• I. am. so. angry. and exhausted?

A big problem with this narrative? When you believe something is wrong with YOU, you take it upon yourself to do more (to fix it, of course!) or berate yourself for being ungrateful, incapable or inadequate. 

TRUTH: how you’re feeling more likely means one or more of the following (this list built off an original by the amazing Beth Berry):

• You have unmet NEEDS that are keeping you from feeling whole and vibrant.
• You are exhausted and don’t have the SPACE, time or self-permission to rest.
• You have unresolved trauma stored in your body that’s being TRIGGERED by everything going on & being at max emotional // mental capacity.
• Parts of you are ATROPHYING – your passion, your joy, your playfulness, your spontaneity and flexibility, etc. – while other parts of you are overworked.
• You don’t feel SEEN for the (limitless, unpaid) work you do and/or energetic investments you make.
• You CRAVE deeper connection and more inspiring conversation than most people around you seem to be able to offer.
• Your nervous system isn’t getting enough BREAKS from chaos and/or hyperarousal.
• You’re introverted and don’t get enough TIME alone.
• You struggle to feel WORTHY of investing in yourself while your kids’ (and everyone else’s) needs are given center stage.
• As much as he cares, your partner DOESN’T QUITE GET IT, which has you struggling not to resent him (I’m speaking specifically to the inability of non-birthing partners to understand the emotional, mental & physical demands of mothering+).
• You don’t feel as if you’re DOING ENOUGH to make any real difference.
• You long for SUPPORT, but you don’t know where to find it and don’t always feel worthy of what you desire. Or when you do get space, you find yourself scrolling social media, watching TV or tasking around the house because you feel your time is either better spent “catching up” or numbing out OR you’re not sure exactly WHAT to do to combat the overwhelm and exhaustion that feels “productive”.

The problem isn’t YOU, my darling. It never was. It’s the SYSTEMS you live in/under, the “norms” and unrealistic, life-sucking expectations of our patriarchal society + grind culture, the stories, thoughts & beliefs you hold about what makes a “good” mother // partner // friend // sister // woman that keep you exhausted, burnt out, always striving and feeling guilty for wanting more or being unfulfilled.

We need to flip the script.
As one of my mentors Kate Northrup says,
“The secret is not fitting more into our days as we’ve been told.
It’s fitting more of OURSELVES into our days.”

Read that again.

There is always a ROOT CAUSE to our overwhelm, anxiety and stress. And the answer is not doing more or sucking it up. For me, in this season of life, the root cause of my stress it’s interrupted sleep (Felix’s night wakings) and running the story that “I don’t have time” to workout, meditate or rest or the space to care for myself well.

Something I’ve found, though? The exact thing you tell yourself you don’t have time for (or isn’t “worth” your time) IS the antidote to the overwhelm, anxiety and stress. And doing that exact thing – standing up for your body & your mental + emotional well-being – is a radical revolution that gives you your power + energy back and transforms your life from the inside-out.

I encourage you to get curious and ask yourself, what is your “what’s wrong with me that ________” story?

Then use the above list of root causes as a starting point to figure out what you NEED to move away from overwhelm and into more ease.

Away from anxiety – which is telling you that something in your life is out of balance* and apathy – which is telling you where you’re overextended & burnt out*  (*thanks chroniconofficial) and into joy and vibrant energy.

Take a deep dive the feelings you’re experiencing and then get clear on the WHY and how you DO want to feel. And tell me (like seriously, send me an email whitney@macksmo.com) what YOU would do to take care of yourself if money, time or support weren’t an issue? And then how can you build that it right now, even if just for 5-10 min per day. It WILL make a difference. In fact, those 5-10 minutes will BE the difference.

So back to my friend. I asked her, “If time, resources, availability of support or money wasn’t a barrier, what would you add to or remove from your day to have space to take care of yourself, fill up your cup or bring you joy?”

Her answer was so simple. So intuitive and also revolutionary. Time to herself (alone) outside in nature. I asked if she felt she could ask her partner to watch their child at some point every day to facilitate this. She thought yes. 

What was keeping her from seeking help or exploring her needs & desires – what stops ALL of us from doing the same – comes from the patriarchal brainwashing that taking time for yourself is selfish; that you should be grateful for what you have and not ask for more; to accept the status quo even if you’re not fulfilled or happy; that doing more and being busy makes you more worthy of love // more valuable // more productive; and that asking for help or not “doing it all” is a sign of weakness and incompetence.

When actually ALL the opposites are true. Taking for your time is essential and non-negotiable. You can be grateful AND desire more. Your productivity will always be limited by the space you dedicate to rest and recharging your mind, body and soul. Asking for help is a sign of strength and having boundaries around your time & energy helps you stand in your innate worth.

I’d love to continue this conversation with you, as you feel called – below in the comments or one-on-one. We’re in this together.

If this post resonated with you, please share! I’ll be forever grateful as a small business owner.

Make sure you don’t miss a beat of this evolving conversation or my work by subscribing to my mailing list (and follow my Instagram & Facebook) so that you never miss a blog post, recipe, healthy lifestyle tip or workout – all created with your unique female body in mind. And if you’re interested in learning more about aligning your life with your feminine cycle NOW or desire to become a client of mine, please don’t hesitate to reach out: whitney@macksmo.com.

NOTES:

• There are certainly situations where taking medication is necessary and/or helpful. If this is you, I both see you and lift you up. It’s also important to get to the root cause (there always is one) because you deserve and were created to have innate vibrant energy, ease and joy; and be able to feel deeply and fully. It is your birth right.
• I know there are those whose experience of asking for help or even getting it truly is or feels impossible. If this is you, I encourage you to begin by asking me. With whatever is within my power or resources, I’ll partner with you and am dedicated to helping you transform your current season of life, from the inside-out. I believe you’re here for a reason; and I’m here for that.

In other words, having an energizing morning routine is the difference between rushing through your day feeling overwhelmed, chaotic and unorganized as compared to feeling centered, mentally clear and equipped to tackle your day with ease & flow – because, like I said, how you begin your day sets the tone for the entire day. Starting your day with space and mindfulness also increases productivity and puts you in a better position to feel in control, adaptable and be non-reactive.

{photo: Heather Brincko}

Likewise, how you close your day impacts your ability to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system – your “rest and digest” mode – that’s responsible for restful (quality) sleep, optimal digestion and increased metabolism (to name a small few). Contrary to popular belief, being so exhausted that you fall right to sleep does not mean that you’re getting the rest and recharge you need to maximize your health & energy.

• A body ritual: doing myofascial release to relieve tension spots or yin yoga to free up stuck energy – both help me physically decompress and move from a state of “doing” to “resting” and letting go of the day. This also include a face // skincare ritual to refresh and nourish my skin and to end the night feeling a little pampered!
• A water ritual: a shower, bath or foot soak (either with Epsom salts + essential oils) or my personal fave – a hot wash cloth face steam. All serve to fulfill the intention of “washing the day away”.
• A stillness ritual: this could be a couple deep breaths (using different breathing techniques), meditating, laying down or relaxing in a comfortable seat and listening to relaxing music or a post-reading moment to feel my body sinking into my cozy bed.
• A gratitude practice: usually noted in my head, though in the past written down, it’s important – regardless of how the day went, to take stock of what went WELL versus ending the day in a negative headspace that fuels stress, anxiety, guilt or shame.

This current season of life we’re in, sheltering-in-place in our homes, is being called “The Great Pause”. While many of us are certainly experiencing a life-as-we-knew-it pause, for many – depending on your financial circumstances, your socioeconomic status, and whether or not you have people at home you’re supporting (like kids or older parents) – to name a few things, IT MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE A PAUSE – as in, “you have more time & less ‘to do’”. I have so many mom clients with kids at home saying that this time is / actually feels BUSIER because there’s so much more to manage and do with every member of our family now under one roof. 

Whether you are a family of one, seven or anything between, though, one thing is universal – basically EVERYthing you &/or everyone else used to do alone or together (work, school, play, socialize, exercise, etc.) is now consolidated into one space all the time. It’s A LOT; and I know in many ways, for so many reasons, we are all struggling and/or feeling deeply. 

So in that, I want to know, really & truly – how are you doing? If you feel called, I ask that you please respond to this email & let me know that + in what ways my work could support you more. I’m here to support you and I want to. For me, the answer to “how are you doing” changes by the day – or even by the minute :). So if you’re there too – or wherever you are – I want you to know that I see you and everything you feel is real & worthy of tending. 

And I want to touch on that just for a second – the concept of tending. It’s highly likely that a lot has been coming up for you during this life-as-we-knew-it “pause”. Our pre-COVID lives have come to a halt. And things (like feelings, trauma, negative beliefs or patterns, financial strains, relational struggles, etc.) that we may have been able to avoid or push away with our “busy-ness” are bubbling to the surface. I believe we are being given a sacred opportunity to look at our shadows and repair or heal what we haven’t dealt with. You may or may not be ready. And both are okay. I believe that we hold on certain ways of life until we are fully ready to create another.

Personally, here are just a few of the things I’ve been witnessing that need “tending”. In other words, this is what’s been “coming up” for myself, my clients, friends + family during the last month, along with ideas for connecting deeper (and I’d love to hear yours too!):

* Our boundaries are being tested, pushed and are also more important than ever. We feel anger, resentment and triggered when our boundaries – both spoken & unspoken (but held) have been violated. Expressing old &/or setting new boundaries is really important to tend to our heart, body & mind.

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* The agreements – again, spoken & unspoken – we have with our partner & ourselves need to be re-worked or examined. Like agreements of who does what in the household, how time is split between working & being with the kids, how you’re delegating your time + energy, and how you’re being supported or supporting – to name a few. It’s likely you stepped into “fix it mode” initially and took on way more than before (and you were already at your max). So I’m curious: how can you step away from this pattern of doing it all and share the load or re-work how your energy is spent? What would feel GOOD and fair?

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* The (likely negative) belief you personally hold around “worth” and “doing” is being activated. As women, we are culturally raised to believe that our worth comes from how we look and what we do. We feel guilt & shame for not “doing enough” or not living up to the impossible “superwoman standard” that’s been exacerbated right now as all the pieces of our lives that were once separate have collided under one roof.

Take a deep breath and hear me now: My love, your worth comes from WHO YOU ARE, not what you do. Examining the belief you have around this will be HARD. A lot will come up. During these uncertain times where you feel less like yourself, you may try to keep doing more to feel worthy and productive (because we also believe productivity = our value).

I see you and I offer my witnessing to validate your feelings and struggles. You are not alone; and YOUR WORTH is INHERENT, not EARNED. Period. What if you moved from that knowing instead? What if this time were to be a great opportunity to connect deeper to yourself and examine the beliefs that make you try to earn your inherent worth; and accordingly always leave you feeling “less than” or bone-tired. It’s time, my love. You are supported. You are not what you do.

And one special note for my mommas: you are doing ENOUGH. I’m seeing a lot of language around how this time is magical and such a rare opportunity to be with our kids more. And while I do feel this (at times ha ha), I think it’s using the word MORE, that’s the problem. We hear “more” and think that we need to be spending tons more time with our kids. But I don’t believe that’s where the “magic” is. I think it’s in small moments of “more” little opportunities. The getting to be together, un-rushed to “get somewhere” before (at home) school or work begin. The availability to sit and have a moment for lunch together in the middle of the day, or the extra hugs or small conversations we’re getting // having that we normally wouldn’t. PLEASE ditch the guilt for having to work (to provide), for not spending every waking moment with your kids or for not wanting to. Look to the little moments and let go of the “grandiose ones”. And know it’s ENOUGH.

– – – – – – – – – – 

* The quiet of slowing down or even the concept of having nothing to do is triggering and anxiety-provoking. WHY? In part because of the worth belief above, but also because it’s IN the quiet that the stuff you’ve been avoiding comes up to reveal itself. Creating the space to examine these difficult truths or shadows is HARD. But running from it or coping in ways that actually deplete us and perpetuate the feeling is EXHAUSTING. What would happen if you got curious and explored, “What’s the gold (aka wisdom) that I can dig up out of all this dirt (aka the hard sh*t & feelings coming up)? What is it here to teach me?” Some days I still run, but more and more, I’m trying to sit and get curious. It’s really challenging. But me & you? We can do hard things. 

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* Your body may need different movement medicine at this time. How you were moving your body before might not work right now. Your physical energy is likely being depleted and used up by other systems of the body due to all the juggling you’re doing and the emotions you’re feeling. You may also experience exacerbated pelvic floor symptoms (like prolapse, incontinence, tension, pain, even a general increased heaviness) or shifts in your period – like spotting, or an irregular or heavier cycle. 

Tami Lynn Kent – women’s health physical therapist, pelvic bowl expert and author of 3 amazing books on the divine feminine + creativity – attributes these physical responses to the root chakra, which is located in our pelvis and associated with things like your security + safety, survival and basic needs (think food, water, shelter, sleep & self-preservation). Seeing as those have been seriously “uprooted” for many of us with current events, an increase or change in physical symptoms within your pelvic region totally makes sense, right? For every physical symptom we experience in this life, there is a traceable energetic root; and so these are all ways that your body is processing what you’re energetically feeling and experiencing. It’s normal and I encourage you to tune in. 

Instead of pushing yourself to move how you “always do” or for feeling shame for not being able to muster the motivation or sustain your performance, ask yourself / your body: “What do I need right now?”

• To flow and feel free? Perhaps yoga, barre or dance is the medicine you need.
• To take deep breaths and feel open or ease? Maybe a walk is just the thing.
• To feel the energy and aliveness of your heart pounding? A moderate-weight, strength training workout with quick transitions may be just what the body ordered.
• You don’t need to do any HIIT workouts or go on any long runs. But then again, this may also be valid medicine. There’s no right or wrong, your body and situation are unique. I just ask that you check-in and FEEL first, then move. 
• And remember, as a woman, to feel our best, it’s important to pay attention to the ever-changing energy of our menstrual cycle (or the moon cycle if you’re not cycling for whatever reason) and adjust our workouts accordingly ALL the time – not just in quarantine. This helps preserve + boost energy and mental focus, keeps your body’s metabolism humming and allows you to align with your body’s needs + strengths. If you’re interested in learning more about this, be sure to check out THIS BLOG POST.

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* All the hats we wear and things we do daily are becoming one jumbled mess. So taking Intentional Transitions is key to decreasing mental load, while increasing focus and creating a deeper connection to self. It’s a way to feel grounded and help you create more space and separation between all the roles you’re juggling. Before shelter-in-place, you may not have realized all the built-in transitions you relied on for “space”, so let’s explore an example – let’s say you used to get up & leave to workout, then come home, get yourself & kids ready and out the door. Then you drove to work, worked, and came home. After the kids went to bed, you cleaned up, you had some down time, then went to bed. There are 5 different transitions here: home to workout // workout to home // home to school, then work // work to home // nightly duties to bed. All of these transitions integrated into your routine helped you have space for yourself before you stepped into your “separate roles”. Now, with everything at home, these transitions have likely dissipated; and as a result, you’re also feeling scattered and uprooted. So how can you re-create different intentional transitions at home? Here are some ideas to get you started: 

• A walk before you begin work (a new, more calming commute!). 
• Spritzing your face with some rose water, lighting a candle and taking 60 seconds for a round of 4-7-8 breathing to energize, shift & focus your headspace when you’re transitioning to/from work and motherhood or other household roles.
• Working for 50 minutes, then taking a 10 min break for water and some squats with alternating standing side bends. OR, take a quick midday break and do this 10 minute {FREE follow along} Mobility Flow I created for you!
• Think of how you WANT to FEEL. Then write down a list of anything you can think of that makes you feel that way. Do a few of the small ones as transitions, and maybe schedule one of the bigger ones as a treat to look forward to at some point during the week.
• Putting a dab of your favorite essential oil on one hand (I love doTerra Wild Orange or Balance Blend, but any will do!), then rubbing your hands together and bringing them to your nose & mouth for a few invigorating deep breaths.

It doesn’t need to be grandiose. In fact, please don’t make it so. 🙂 Allow it to be small. Even so small that it may seem insignificant. These transitions will soon become treasured rituals you  may even want to take out of this “season”!

This is in no way an exhaustive list of what’s “coming up” for you // me // us // our world. 

I would love to hear what you’re personally struggling with and hope that this could spark some curiosity and insight. Remember, these are all just my opinions and observations. Everything you need is already inside you, sometimes we just need a little reminding and support to “go there” and trust.

And I know that it’s likely you were expecting my next newsletter to be all about my labor and birth with Will. Don’t worry – that’s coming tomorrow, I promise! 

I’ve been feeling the need to reach out to my community and offer both perspective and support outside of my “story of becoming” into who and where I am now. So thank you for sharing this space with me, I am truly honored to be here with you – during this time and always.

If this post resonated with you, please share! I’ll be forever grateful as a small business owner.

Make sure you don’t miss a beat of this evolving conversation or my work by subscribing to my mailing list (and follow my Instagram & Facebook) so that you never miss a blog post, recipe, healthy lifestyle tip or workout – all created with your unique female body in mind. And if you’re interested in learning more about aligning your life with your feminine cycle NOW or desire to become a client of mine, please don’t hesitate to reach out: whitney@macksmo.com.

Photos by the wonderful Kate Porter.

It’s been over a year since I’ve done much writing here. So much has happened for me during that time; mostly slow and behind the scenes, in person versus online – in business, body and life. The biggest milestone has been adding a new baby boy {Felix Austin} to our brood! He is the biggest joy, boasts a smile and twinkling eyes that will melt your heart (speaking from a totally non-bias perspective 😉 and his favorite person is definitely big brother Will. 

I know for all of us, so many things are in flux right now. I want you to know that I am here to support you. Community and connection are everything to me, and I am so grateful to share this space with you.

Today I am specifically popping in to touch base and let you in on a shift my business has been slowly making over the last 4 years. My work in the “health & fitness world” began as a fitness instructor ten years ago. After earning my holistic health coaching certificate from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in 2013, I added healthy lifestyle and nutrition coaching to the mix. Fast forward to now and the majority of my work is helping women align the way they live, exercise, eat, work, mother and connect to the incredible, {mostly untapped} power of their feminine cycle. This life-changing shift ignites more ease, flow & joy, and allows for a more grace-filled + enjoyable way of living that we all crave.

So, buckle up buttercup, because today, I’m going to be share a taste of my work and why it’s vital for all women to tap into their hormonal advantage – always, but especially right now.

You see, the modern // mainstream approach to happiness and wellness (fitness + food included) simply put, does NOT work for women. Why? Because of our unique physiology! I love this analogy to highlight how men and women are different and accordingly why we need different paradigms from which to live:

• Men are like the SUN hormonally – repeating an entire cycle every 24 hours. Lifestyle and food factors that influence how one feels aside, men can expect the same energy, mental capacity and performance from their body & mind daily. It’s consistent, predictable. The way our society has been built – from the way we work, how we’re taught to goal set & achieve, to the diets we’re prescribed and the workouts we’re told are “the most effective” – centers around this 24 hour clock. This 24 hour clock is what we know as the CIRCADIAN RHYTHM. 

• Women, on the other hand, are like the MOON. We are different EVERY. DAY. Every day over your 28-35 day average cycle, your hormones are CHANGING. And contrary to popular belief, this is ALSO predictable – just on a different time table than men. Each day the moon rises, she’s a different shape, size & energy. The female body mimics this design and throughout your cycle, YOU also wake up each day with DIFFERENT, cyclical: energy, cognitive super powers, relational & productivity strengths and physical needs (to name a few).
  • Like the MOON’s four distinct phases – new moon, waxing, full moon & waning, we also have four distinct phases to our MENSTRUAL cycle – menstruation, follicular phase, ovulation and the luteal phase; which ALSO happen to align & mimic the four SEASONS of the Earth – winter, spring, summer & fall. I know. Like WHOA, right?
  • And guess what else? During our reproductive years (over half our lives)!, women have their OWN, second biological clock from which we operate – the INFRADIAN clock // rhythm – which is the length of our personal menstrual cycle, versus the cycle of a single day (before puberty and after menopause, we return to the circadian clock to guide our bodies). This clock and the hormone fluctuations we experience over the course of our cycle impact everything we experience, feel and do as women (even when we’re unaware of it). It’s the reason we feel and ARE different every day we wake (physically, emotionally, mentally and relationally).
  • And it’s for these reasons, that women need an entirely different blueprint from which we operate in order to FEEL our best and not be *fighting* our body’s innate design. 

As a woman, it’s really important for you to know & understand this because the current world we live in wasn’t built for how YOU ARE BUILT biologically and physiologically. And all the lifestyle, productivity, diet and exercise “hacks”, advice or best practices the mainstream media is telling you comes from studies done on MEN (typically ages 18-22). Women are rarely included in studies because our menstrual cycle makes data “complicated” and “unpredictable” (when really, we just need to be studied based around our menstrual cycle and because we are different than men during our reproductive years). I know. Mind blown, right?

Or perhaps you’re feeling a bit skeptical and wondering, “If this is true, why have I never heard this before?” A valid question. And one that I found myself mulling over when I first came across this conversation four years ago. I’m not going to sugar coat it – when you start to live in alignment with the four distinct phases of your cycle, it is LIFE-CHANGING. You will awaken pieces of your body, mind and spirit that cause you to live more and do less. And you’ll find that lots of little “knowings” you’ve had (but ignored) or things you’ve “noticed” (but couldn’t find a pattern to them) all. start. to make. sense.

If you’re like me, you’re probably wanting some specific examples of HOW the Infradian rhythm affects your health, right? I’ve got you. First up: Have you ever experienced feeling super energized + light in your body, “killing” your workouts one week, then the next week find yourself STRUGGLING, with low energy? Your motivation went on vacation & you’re thinking, “why can’t I stick with something?” You don’t know why you’re feeling sluggish in the workout you soared through days ago and you wonder: “WTF is wrong with ME and why can’t I perform or feel the same consistently?” You’re frustrated with your body and the negative thoughts keep going. Or worse yet, you’re finding that despite “eating clean” // dieting and working out consistently (and hard), you’re gaining weight or at the very least literally making no progress. Been there? Yeah, me too. 
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Let me silence that inner critic with a little known secret – the REASON for this (totally common, but not normal) swing in motivation, performance, body composition and energy? Yep, you guessed it. Your physiology. As a female, your body aligns with different types of workouts at different times throughout your cycle; which is why you’ve likely experienced feeling “awesome” doing something one week, then totally frustrated with your (lack of) performance doing the SAME THING the next. 
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For pre-menopausal women, working out *the same* every day or even having the same weekly routine on repeat will do one of two things – DEPLETE us OR foster a RESTLESS, STUCK & ANXIOUS energy (depending on HOW you’re working out and what movement you’re doing WHEN in your cycle).
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If you want to feel best in your body, it’s key to shift the focus or modality of your workouts with the 4 distinct menstrual // moon phases or “seasons” of your cycle and between your low and high hormone phases. Crossfit or heavy strength training? Only works for about ⅓ of your cycle (before menopause). Running – about half. Pilates or barre – same. HIIT – about ⅓.

And here’s one thing mainstream media or the fitness industry *definitely* doesn’t tell you (or know) – that IF you do high intensity // high impact interval training or heavy weight lifting during the wrong part of your cycle, you’ll turn ON fat storage and muscle wasting. Yikes!

Let me give you another example – just in case you’re still not totally buying in. 🙂 Let’s talk about food. A woman’s body metabolizes carbohydrates & fat differently between the high & low hormone phases of her cycle. So what does this mean for you? Diet trends like Paleo // Keto // Intermittent Fasting (and many others) work *against* your metabolism in the long run because they only physiologically align with half your cycle. And for the record, women don’t do well on super low-carb diets.
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Ultimately, most diets (the above included) end up down-regulating your endocrine system (aka messing up your hormones), suppressing the thyroid and spiking cortisol / stress – which all undermine your efforts to feel your BEST + get results you desire (I learned this science from @drstacysims).
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In addition, things like alcohol, coffee and sugar are ALSO metabolized better in one phase of your cycle and can trigger fat storage during the other. And for every “season” // phase of your cycle, specific foods best support your biology + hormones (@alisa.vitti taught me this):
? Spring // Follicular = fermented foods
? Summer // Ovulation = raw foods
? Fall // Luteal = root vegetables
? Winter // Menstruation = healthy fats.

You might also be wondering: “Why is this relevant right now?” If there’s anything that’s become super clear during this pandemic, it’s that our health – specifically our immunity, matters. And as women, our immunity is directly impacted by our cycle; particularly by how we exercise, eat and live (aka our lifestyle). For instance, we boast better immunity during the first half of our cycle, but it takes a natural dip during the second half (a protective mechanism for possible pregnancy so your body doesn’t attack the fetus), so it’s vital we support the second half of our cycle – the luteal phase – in a way that doesn’t deplete our body, thus making us more vulnerable to colds & infections. Simple ways we deplete? Inadequate sleep, over-consuming sugar // caffeine // alcohol // dairy // gluten, over-extending ourselves re: commitments, not finishing tasks we started (aka being stretched too thin), HIIT exercise or high impact activities, high levels of chronic (constant) stress.

Most of us have been taught that our menstrual cycle affects only our reproductive health – so we tend to ignore it until we “need it” (to have children), but according to Alisa Vitti – creator of the cycle syncing method and author of the must-read book In The Flo, the Infradian rhythm affects EVERY BIOLOGICAL SYSTEM OF YOUR BODY:

1. The Brain
2. The Immune System
3. Your Metabolism
4. Your Microbiome (gut health)
5. Your Stress Response

Is it starting to make sense now why attending to your unique female biology and physiology is so important? The world has taught you to look outside our bodies to figure out how to eat, how to exercise, how to work and how to live. It’s told you that you must fit into the “box of the circadian rhythm” that dictates you be the same every day (which, as you can see, you are not). Are you starting to understand now why this is such a harmful paradigm for women during our reproductive years? Can you imagine how your life would’ve been different if at puberty, you were told:

“Your body is about to change in the most amazing way. Soon, you are going to wake up feeling different every day on every level – physically, mentally, emotionally and relationally. The world will tell you that this isn’t normal, but it IS. So it’s important to begin the ritual of checking IN with your amazing body daily – to ask “What do I need today?” For in this cycle lies your unique feminine strengths & gifts that you didn’t have access to before this moment. Your body will never betray you, she is here to guide you towards becoming your truest self. Trust her, and know that everything you feel and know inside is both important to feel and REAL. You can ignore every diet and exercise trend; and anything else that teaches you that you need to CHANGE your body, to shrink, to be smaller or not take up space. All you need to access your inner knowing, to tap into your power is to turn INward.”

Just take that in for a moment. For me – if I would’ve known that I was meant to feel a huge spectrum of emotions – that this was both normal and good, and through these I was able to experience life to its fullest, maybe I wouldn’t have grown up feeling misunderstood and like I needed to be so independent; perhaps I would’ve learned sooner to ask for help and lean on my “sisters” (friends & family) instead of believing that I could and had to figure things out on my own. Maybe I also would’ve found a healthier way to express anger. If I had known that my body was on my side, not something to manipulate, but a partner rather – perhaps I would’ve sought out a more gentle approach to everything: to nourishing with food (versus dictating & restricting), to energizing with movement (versus pushing & over-exerting), to following my creativity and passions (versus believing my worth lay in my productivity, so I always had to be “doing” versus allowing space to be), and to know that ALL of us women were MEANT to be and look different – and it was our differences that were cause for celebration and collaboration (versus comparing, criticizing and excluding).

How would it have been different for you?

For all of these reasons and examples – now more than ever, I think aligning your life with the feminine is crucial. Did you know that 50% of all women have some degree of hormone dysfunction right now? And that hormone dysfunction leads to painful & heavy periods, uncomfortable & downright miserable PMS, skin issues, gut dysbiosis, brain fog, migraines, extreme fatigue, weight gain and stubborn weight – to name just a few. We have more “resources” on health, wellness, nutrition and exercise than ever before, yet this information isn’t creating better health for us, in fact, quite the opposite. One in four women will get a full-blown autoimmune disease ten years postpartum after their first baby and infertility rates are on the rise.

For so long, women have been working & living from the space: “I can do everything a man does and more.” And in many ways, this has served us – we’ve accomplished so much. But I also see that we are exhausted, burned out, struggling with energy, body weight, self worth and work-life “balance” in a way that our male counterparts are not. What gives?

I think perhaps that in trying to do things like a man, we’ve abandoned the power and immense value of doing things like a woman. We’ve ignored our biology and silenced the place where our power lives – INSIDE us. Even we women have accepted and subscribed to the idea that we have to BE like a man in order to achieve equality. But there’s one problem here – women are not small men. I’ll say it again: WOMEN. ARE. NOT. SMALL. MEN {shoutout to Stacy Sims for this amazing catch phase & truth}. 

I think the next step in revolutionizing our lives (and the world around us) starts by stepping back into our bodies and forging a way of living, working and being that fully supports who we are (biologically & physiologically) AND what we’re here to do in the world. {For more insight on my call to feminism and aligning with the feminine, click HERE and listen to this video}. 

So if you’ve ever felt: “there has to be a better // easier // more joyful way” to feel how you want in a life and body you LOVE, you’re right – there IS. And if you’re interested in learning more, stay tuned. It’s my goal to bring this female-focused framework to ALL of you, so you can start working WITH your body’s physiology, not against it. Ladies: I think it’s time we took back our bodies and started leveraging our hormonal advantage (as cycle syncing queen Alisa Vitti says). 

I’m so excited to share this work with you. If this resonated with you (or blew your mind 🙂 and you feel called, PLEASE share with your friends, co-workers, neighbors, sisters, community and family. One thing I’m always wondering – how would my life, my youth, my teens & twenties been different had I known this information? I know for sure that in place of self-loathing, body issues, always chasing the next big diet or exercise trend and trying to fit myself into a box that is totally out of alignment with my female biology (which takes up SO much headspace, right?!) — I could’ve offered my younger self up a lot more grace, love, empathy, ease and joy. All the things we DESERVE and NEED, right now.

My hope for you, as we share this space, is to never have to look outside yourself for answers again.

So that you don’t miss a beat of this evolving conversation or my work, make sure you’re subscribed to my mailing list (and follow my Instagram & Facebook) so that you never miss a blog post, recipe, healthy lifestyle tip or workout – all created with your unique female body in mind. And if you’re interested in learning more about aligning your life with your feminine cycle NOW or desire to become a client of mine, please don’t hesitate to reach out: whitney@macksmo.com.

Next week I’ll be sharing WHERE IT ALL BEGAN for me. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you: how would knowing this information have changed things for you? Does it change your perspective moving forward? Do you have any other questions? We’re in this together. I’m here for you and I love you. xoxo. – W

PS: If this *didn’t* resonate with you, feel free to unsubscribe from my mailing list. I wish you the best and appreciate all the support you’ve given me over the years. Big hugs.

PPS: I want to give credit to my amazing mentors and the trailblazers in this conversation who began my journey into + continue to expand my knowledge in this work: Sarah Jenks, Alisa Vitti, Kate Northrup, Claire Baker and Dr. Stacy Sims. Your work has changed my life. I am forever grateful.

Photos by: me, my dear friend Heather Brincko and the wonderful Kate Porter.