• Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Vimeo
HAVE QUESTIONS? Contact us.

Whitney Mack

love yourself into vibrant health

  • About
  • Nutrition Coaching
  • Health Coaching
  • Seattle Classes
  • Contact

The Antidote To Overwhelm

October 9, 2020 by Whitney Mack Filed Under: Healthy Living Inspiration, Moming // Parenthood 2 Comments

I had a client and friend this week tell me she didn’t think she could keep going without medication. Her overwhelm and anxiety were through the roof and she couldn’t fathom any effective method of coping other than going on medication. She was at the end of her rope, end of her capacity.

Before I tell you my response to her, I want to ask: how about you? How’s your anxiety? Are you exhausted and/or burned out? Find yourself paralyzed in overwhelm?

What’s happening right now – between COVID, the election, the BLM movement // work, virtual learning for our children, losing access to our “third spaces”, limited social contact and support, working from home, to name a few major ones – it is A LOT. Actually, it’s more than a lot; it’s freaking ASININE. No ONE person can shoulder the responsibility, “work” or headspace that all of these, or even a few of these require. And let’s also be clear that there has never been a point in history where we HAVE had to hold all of these at once AND under one roof.

And what I’ve been hearing – from friends, clients, family and on social media, is thinking, once again, that’s something is wrong with YOU that you can’t “do it all”. 

“What’s wrong with me that _________?”

  • I am not enjoying this extra time with my kids or I don’t feel the joy of motherhood (like I “should” or used to)?
  • I am doing a lot less than “normal”, but I don’t feel like I have capacity for anything?
  • I can’t feel joy right now?
  • I don’t feel connected to my partner?
  • I can’t handle all of this or even the simplest things?
  • I. am. so. angry. and exhausted?

A big problem with this narrative? When you believe something is wrong with YOU, you take it upon yourself to do more (to fix it, of course!) or berate yourself for being ungrateful, incapable or inadequate. 

TRUTH: how you’re feeling more likely means one or more of the following (this list built off an original by the amazing Beth Berry):

  • You have unmet NEEDS that are keeping you from feeling whole and vibrant.
  • You are exhausted and don’t have the SPACE, time or self-permission to rest.
  • You have unresolved trauma stored in your body that’s being TRIGGERED by everything going on & being at max emotional // mental capacity.
  • Parts of you are ATROPHYING – your passion, your joy, your playfulness, your spontaneity and flexibility, etc. – while other parts of you are overworked.
  • You don’t feel SEEN for the (limitless, unpaid) work you do and/or energetic investments you make.
  • You CRAVE deeper connection and more inspiring conversation than most people around you seem to be able to offer.
  • Your nervous system isn’t getting enough BREAKS from chaos and/or hyperarousal.
  • You’re introverted and don’t get enough TIME alone.
  • You struggle to feel WORTHY of investing in yourself while your kids’ (and everyone else’s) needs are given center stage.
  • As much as he cares, your partner DOESN’T QUITE GET IT, which has you struggling not to resent him (I’m speaking specifically to the inability of non-birthing partners to understand the emotional, mental & physical demands of mothering+).
  • You don’t feel as if you’re DOING ENOUGH to make any real difference.
  • You long for SUPPORT, but you don’t know where to find it and don’t always feel worthy of what you desire. Or when you do get space, you find yourself scrolling social media, watching TV or tasking around the house because you feel your time is either better spent “catching up” or numbing out OR you’re not sure exactly WHAT to do to combat the overwhelm and exhaustion that feels “productive”.

The problem isn’t YOU, my darling. It never was. It’s the SYSTEMS you live in/under, the “norms” and unrealistic, life-sucking expectations of our patriarchal society + grind culture, the stories, thoughts & beliefs you hold about what makes a “good” mother // partner // friend // sister // woman that keep you exhausted, burnt out, always striving and feeling guilty for wanting more or being unfulfilled.

 

We need to flip the script.
As one of my mentors Kate Northrup says,
“The secret is not fitting more into our days as we’ve been told.
It’s fitting more of OURSELVES into our days.”

 

Read that again.

There is always a ROOT CAUSE to our overwhelm, anxiety and stress. And the answer is not doing more or sucking it up. For me, in this season of life, the root cause of my stress it’s interrupted sleep (Felix’s night wakings) and running the story that “I don’t have time” to workout, meditate or rest or the space to care for myself well.

Something I’ve found, though? The exact thing you tell yourself you don’t have time for (or isn’t “worth” your time) IS the antidote to the overwhelm, anxiety and stress. And doing that exact thing – standing up for your body & your mental + emotional well-being – is a radical revolution that gives you your power + energy back and transforms your life from the inside-out.

I encourage you to get curious and ask yourself, what is your “what’s wrong with me that ________” story?

Then use the above list of root causes as a starting point to figure out what you NEED to move away from overwhelm and into more ease.

Away from anxiety – which is telling you that something in your life is out of balance* and apathy – which is telling you where you’re overextended & burnt out*  (*thanks chroniconofficial) and into joy and vibrant energy.

Take a deep dive the feelings you’re experiencing and then get clear on the WHY and how you DO want to feel. And tell me (like seriously, send me an email whitney@macksmo.com) what YOU would do to take care of yourself if money, time or support weren’t an issue? And then how can you build that it right now, even if just for 5-10 min per day. It WILL make a difference. In fact, those 5-10 minutes will BE the difference.

So back to my friend. I asked her, “If time, resources, availability of support or money wasn’t a barrier, what would you add to or remove from your day to have space to take care of yourself, fill up your cup or bring you joy?”

Her answer was so simple. So intuitive and also revolutionary. Time to herself (alone) outside in nature. I asked if she felt she could ask her partner to watch their child at some point every day to facilitate this. She thought yes. 

What was keeping her from seeking help or exploring her needs & desires – what stops ALL of us from doing the same – comes from the patriarchal brainwashing that taking time for yourself is selfish; that you should be grateful for what you have and not ask for more; to accept the status quo even if you’re not fulfilled or happy; that doing more and being busy makes you more worthy of love // more valuable // more productive; and that asking for help or not “doing it all” is a sign of weakness and incompetence.

When actually ALL the opposites are true. Taking for your time is essential and non-negotiable. You can be grateful AND desire more. Your productivity will always be limited by the space you dedicate to rest and recharging your mind, body and soul. Asking for help is a sign of strength and having boundaries around your time & energy helps you stand in your innate worth.

I’d love to continue this conversation with you, as you feel called – below in the comments or one-on-one. We’re in this together.

 

If this post resonated with you, please share! I’ll be forever grateful as a small business owner.

 

Make sure you don’t miss a beat of this evolving conversation or my work by subscribing to my mailing list (and follow my Instagram & Facebook) so that you never miss a blog post, recipe, healthy lifestyle tip or workout – all created with your unique female body in mind. And if you’re interested in learning more about aligning your life with your feminine cycle NOW or desire to become a client of mine, please don’t hesitate to reach out: whitney@macksmo.com.

 

NOTES:

  • There are certainly situations where taking medication is necessary and/or helpful. If this is you, I both see you and lift you up. It’s also important to get to the root cause (there always is one) because you deserve and were created to have innate vibrant energy, ease and joy; and be able to feel deeply and fully. It is your birth right.
  • I know there are those whose experience of asking for help or even getting it truly is or feels impossible. If this is you, I encourage you to begin by asking me. With whatever is within my power or resources, I’ll partner with you and am dedicated to helping you transform your current season of life, from the inside-out. I believe you’re here for a reason; and I’m here for that.

Energize Your Mornings & Wind-Down Your Evenings

September 11, 2020 by Whitney Mack Filed Under: Healthy Living Inspiration, Moming // Parenthood Leave a Comment

As a parent, one of the first things you do to support your baby in understanding the difference between night & day, awake & sleep is to develop routines – in particular, a sleep routine. The sleep routine might go something like diaper change, PJs on, 2 books, lights out & songs in the rocking chair – you know the drill. The consistency of this routine allows the baby’s nervous system to key into the transition they’re making. The day is done, it’s time to sleep. I’d say regardless of parenting philosophy, this is pretty basic Baby 101.
 

As adults, we’ve learned how to sleep; but most of us forget that just like babies (and children), we also benefit from intentional TRANSITIONS from sleep to wake & wake to sleep. We’ve abandoned any practices or rituals that plug us IN to how we want to feel – to begin & end our days, and instead think we can go go go, until we drop (or hit the pillow). While your body might be exhausted enough to fall asleep quickly, it doesn’t mean that your MIND shuts off (hence middle of the night wakings with a racing mind & the inability to go back to sleep) and it also doesn’t equate to the most restful sleep, either (even if we don’t wake).

 

Here’s the truth: how you begin your day will determine how it feels all day long and how you end your day plays a huge role in how rested + recharged you feel the next day. And they snowball on one another. Good sleep and a focused, energized day takes some intention; it doesn’t just happen. Enter: the practice (or reintroduction) of morning rituals and an evening wind-down routine in order to dock back into your body (your powerhouse)  – to recharge, refuel and restore. Because another unavoidable truth? If you don’t put steps into place to feel how you want to feel, day in & day out, you’ll be at the whim of your external world – and your body, sleep, mood, energy, immunity, metabolism, brain function, hormones – literally everything, will pay for it.

 

In other words, having an energizing morning routine is the difference between rushing through your day feeling overwhelmed, chaotic and unorganized as compared to feeling centered, mentally clear and equipped to tackle your day with ease & flow – because, like I said, how you begin your day sets the tone for the entire day. Starting your day with space and mindfulness also increases productivity and puts you in a better position to feel in control, adaptable and be non-reactive.

 

{photo: Heather Brincko}

Likewise, how you close your day impacts your ability to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system – your “rest and digest” mode – that’s responsible for restful (quality) sleep, optimal digestion and increased metabolism (to name a small few). Contrary to popular belief, being so exhausted that you fall right to sleep does not mean that you’re getting the rest and recharge you need to maximize your health & energy.

 
 
Rituals can & should look different for all of us, depending on what we desire to feel AND what season of life you’re in. They’re meant to fill YOUR cup, so how you go about that matters much less than making it happen, even 5 min is a game-changer. Right now, my morning ritual means sleeping in as I’m up 1-3x per night average with Felix. I used to get up, do some mobility and enjoy my morning beverage wrapped in a cozy blanket taking deep breaths. That’s just not happening right now, and that’s okay. More sleep is what this season calls for. Nighttimes, on the other hand, have become a little more elaborate or at the very least, essential. They typically look something like this, but even so, don’t always include everything, because…LIFE!:
  • A body ritual: doing myofascial release to relieve tension spots or yin yoga to free up stuck energy – both help me physically decompress and move from a state of “doing” to “resting” and letting go of the day. This also include a face // skincare ritual to refresh and nourish my skin and to end the night feeling a little pampered!
  • A water ritual: a shower, bath or foot soak (either with Epsom salts + essential oils) or my personal fave – a hot wash cloth face steam. All serve to fulfill the intention of “washing the day away”.
  • A stillness ritual: this could be a couple deep breaths (using different breathing techniques), meditating, laying down or relaxing in a comfortable seat and listening to relaxing music or a post-reading moment to feel my body sinking into my cozy bed.
  • A gratitude practice: usually noted in my head, though in the past written down, it’s important – regardless of how the day went, to take stock of what went WELL versus ending the day in a negative headspace that fuels stress, anxiety, guilt or shame.
 
Beginning a FEEL GOOD morning & evening ritual to bookend your days can feel super overwhelming. Don’t worry, momma, I’ve got you! I’ve put together a collection of energizing morning and evening wind-down routine ideas to best fit your life and body’s needs into a virtual workshop that includes video tutorials for every ritual idea, a written guide, follow-along movement videos and links to my favorite, time-tested products (all non-toxic & luxurious!).
 
In this workshop, you’ll learn simple & uplifting ways to add more ease, intention and headspace, while decreasing tension, stress and anxiety. BONUS: improve range of motion, mobility and flexibility by incorporating the movement options into your {almost} daily routine!
 
TOGETHER, WE’LL LEARN AND YOU’LL RECEIVE:
Morning Rituals:
– Two energizing morning mobility flows {with follow-along videos to support you post-workshop}
– Simple and doable morning meditation ideas to increase mental space & clarity while boosting oxygen flow, intuition and feel-good vibes all day long
– A how-to on integrating a written daily devotions practice that inspires your mind + soul to expand
 
Evening Rituals:
– 3 sets of evening wind-down stretches (heart & hip openers with counter pose) to help release tension and create easefulness in the body
– 3 sets of myofasical release pairs using the Yoga TuneUp balls to increase muscle function and release blocks
– My four favorite tools for creating instant calm that take under 5 minutes
 
Grab the workshop HERE to start creating the energy, radiance and rest you really need & desire on the daily! 

This “Great Pause” Might Not FEEL That Way

April 22, 2020 by Whitney Mack Filed Under: Healthy Living Inspiration, Moming // Parenthood Leave a Comment

This current season of life we’re in, sheltering-in-place in our homes, is being called “The Great Pause”. While many of us are certainly experiencing a life-as-we-knew-it pause, for many – depending on your financial circumstances, your socioeconomic status, and whether or not you have people at home you’re supporting (like kids or older parents) – to name a few things, IT MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE A PAUSE – as in, “you have more time & less ‘to do’”. I have so many mom clients with kids at home saying that this time is / actually feels BUSIER because there’s so much more to manage and do with every member of our family now under one roof. 

Whether you are a family of one, seven or anything between, though, one thing is universal – basically EVERYthing you &/or everyone else used to do alone or together (work, school, play, socialize, exercise, etc.) is now consolidated into one space all the time. It’s A LOT; and I know in many ways, for so many reasons, we are all struggling and/or feeling deeply. 

So in that, I want to know, really & truly – how are you doing? If you feel called, I ask that you please respond to this email & let me know that + in what ways my work could support you more. I’m here to support you and I want to. For me, the answer to “how are you doing” changes by the day – or even by the minute :). So if you’re there too – or wherever you are – I want you to know that I see you and everything you feel is real & worthy of tending. 

And I want to touch on that just for a second – the concept of tending. It’s highly likely that a lot has been coming up for you during this life-as-we-knew-it “pause”. Our pre-COVID lives have come to a halt. And things (like feelings, trauma, negative beliefs or patterns, financial strains, relational struggles, etc.) that we may have been able to avoid or push away with our “busy-ness” are bubbling to the surface. I believe we are being given a sacred opportunity to look at our shadows and repair or heal what we haven’t dealt with. You may or may not be ready. And both are okay. I believe that we hold on certain ways of life until we are fully ready to create another.

 

Personally, here are just a few of the things I’ve been witnessing that need “tending”. In other words, this is what’s been “coming up” for myself, my clients, friends + family during the last month, along with ideas for connecting deeper (and I’d love to hear yours too!):

 

* Our boundaries are being tested, pushed and are also more important than ever. We feel anger, resentment and triggered when our boundaries – both spoken & unspoken (but held) have been violated. Expressing old &/or setting new boundaries is really important to tend to our heart, body & mind.

– – – – – – – – – – 

* The agreements – again, spoken & unspoken – we have with our partner & ourselves need to be re-worked or examined. Like agreements of who does what in the household, how time is split between working & being with the kids, how you’re delegating your time + energy, and how you’re being supported or supporting – to name a few. It’s likely you stepped into “fix it mode” initially and took on way more than before (and you were already at your max). So I’m curious: how can you step away from this pattern of doing it all and share the load or re-work how your energy is spent? What would feel GOOD and fair?

– – – – – – – – – – 

* The (likely negative) belief you personally hold around “worth” and “doing” is being activated. As women, we are culturally raised to believe that our worth comes from how we look and what we do. We feel guilt & shame for not “doing enough” or not living up to the impossible “superwoman standard” that’s been exacerbated right now as all the pieces of our lives that were once separate have collided under one roof.

Take a deep breath and hear me now: My love, your worth comes from WHO YOU ARE, not what you do. Examining the belief you have around this will be HARD. A lot will come up. During these uncertain times where you feel less like yourself, you may try to keep doing more to feel worthy and productive (because we also believe productivity = our value).

I see you and I offer my witnessing to validate your feelings and struggles. You are not alone; and YOUR WORTH is INHERENT, not EARNED. Period. What if you moved from that knowing instead? What if this time were to be a great opportunity to connect deeper to yourself and examine the beliefs that make you try to earn your inherent worth; and accordingly always leave you feeling “less than” or bone-tired. It’s time, my love. You are supported. You are not what you do.

And one special note for my mommas: you are doing ENOUGH. I’m seeing a lot of language around how this time is magical and such a rare opportunity to be with our kids more. And while I do feel this (at times ha ha), I think it’s using the word MORE, that’s the problem. We hear “more” and think that we need to be spending tons more time with our kids. But I don’t believe that’s where the “magic” is. I think it’s in small moments of “more” little opportunities. The getting to be together, un-rushed to “get somewhere” before (at home) school or work begin. The availability to sit and have a moment for lunch together in the middle of the day, or the extra hugs or small conversations we’re getting // having that we normally wouldn’t. PLEASE ditch the guilt for having to work (to provide), for not spending every waking moment with your kids or for not wanting to. Look to the little moments and let go of the “grandiose ones”. And know it’s ENOUGH.

– – – – – – – – – – 

* The quiet of slowing down or even the concept of having nothing to do is triggering and anxiety-provoking. WHY? In part because of the worth belief above, but also because it’s IN the quiet that the stuff you’ve been avoiding comes up to reveal itself. Creating the space to examine these difficult truths or shadows is HARD. But running from it or coping in ways that actually deplete us and perpetuate the feeling is EXHAUSTING. What would happen if you got curious and explored, “What’s the gold (aka wisdom) that I can dig up out of all this dirt (aka the hard sh*t & feelings coming up)? What is it here to teach me?” Some days I still run, but more and more, I’m trying to sit and get curious. It’s really challenging. But me & you? We can do hard things. 

– – – – – – – – – – 

* Your body may need different movement medicine at this time. How you were moving your body before might not work right now. Your physical energy is likely being depleted and used up by other systems of the body due to all the juggling you’re doing and the emotions you’re feeling. You may also experience exacerbated pelvic floor symptoms (like prolapse, incontinence, tension, pain, even a general increased heaviness) or shifts in your period – like spotting, or an irregular or heavier cycle. 

Tami Lynn Kent – women’s health physical therapist, pelvic bowl expert and author of 3 amazing books on the divine feminine + creativity – attributes these physical responses to the root chakra, which is located in our pelvis and associated with things like your security + safety, survival and basic needs (think food, water, shelter, sleep & self-preservation). Seeing as those have been seriously “uprooted” for many of us with current events, an increase or change in physical symptoms within your pelvic region totally makes sense, right? For every physical symptom we experience in this life, there is a traceable energetic root; and so these are all ways that your body is processing what you’re energetically feeling and experiencing. It’s normal and I encourage you to tune in. 

Instead of pushing yourself to move how you “always do” or for feeling shame for not being able to muster the motivation or sustain your performance, ask yourself / your body: “What do I need right now?”

  • To flow and feel free? Perhaps yoga, barre or dance is the medicine you need.
  • To take deep breaths and feel open or ease? Maybe a walk is just the thing.
  • To feel the energy and aliveness of your heart pounding? A moderate-weight, strength training workout with quick transitions may be just what the body ordered.
  • You don’t need to do any HIIT workouts or go on any long runs. But then again, this may also be valid medicine. There’s no right or wrong, your body and situation are unique. I just ask that you check-in and FEEL first, then move. 
  • And remember, as a woman, to feel our best, it’s important to pay attention to the ever-changing energy of our menstrual cycle (or the moon cycle if you’re not cycling for whatever reason) and adjust our workouts accordingly ALL the time – not just in quarantine. This helps preserve + boost energy and mental focus, keeps your body’s metabolism humming and allows you to align with your body’s needs + strengths. If you’re interested in learning more about this, be sure to check out THIS BLOG POST.

– – – – – – – – – – 

* All the hats we wear and things we do daily are becoming one jumbled mess. So taking Intentional Transitions is key to decreasing mental load, while increasing focus and creating a deeper connection to self. It’s a way to feel grounded and help you create more space and separation between all the roles you’re juggling. Before shelter-in-place, you may not have realized all the built-in transitions you relied on for “space”, so let’s explore an example – let’s say you used to get up & leave to workout, then come home, get yourself & kids ready and out the door. Then you drove to work, worked, and came home. After the kids went to bed, you cleaned up, you had some down time, then went to bed. There are 5 different transitions here: home to workout // workout to home // home to school, then work // work to home // nightly duties to bed. All of these transitions integrated into your routine helped you have space for yourself before you stepped into your “separate roles”. Now, with everything at home, these transitions have likely dissipated; and as a result, you’re also feeling scattered and uprooted. So how can you re-create different intentional transitions at home? Here are some ideas to get you started: 

  • A walk before you begin work (a new, more calming commute!). 
  • Spritzing your face with some rose water, lighting a candle and taking 60 seconds for a round of 4-7-8 breathing to energize, shift & focus your headspace when you’re transitioning to/from work and motherhood or other household roles.
  • Working for 50 minutes, then taking a 10 min break for water and some squats with alternating standing side bends. OR, take a quick midday break and do this 10 minute {FREE follow along} Mobility Flow I created for you!
  • Think of how you WANT to FEEL. Then write down a list of anything you can think of that makes you feel that way. Do a few of the small ones as transitions, and maybe schedule one of the bigger ones as a treat to look forward to at some point during the week.
  • Putting a dab of your favorite essential oil on one hand (I love doTerra Wild Orange or Balance Blend, but any will do!), then rubbing your hands together and bringing them to your nose & mouth for a few invigorating deep breaths.

It doesn’t need to be grandiose. In fact, please don’t make it so. 🙂 Allow it to be small. Even so small that it may seem insignificant. These transitions will soon become treasured rituals you  may even want to take out of this “season”!

 

This is in no way an exhaustive list of what’s “coming up” for you // me // us // our world. 

I would love to hear what you’re personally struggling with and hope that this could spark some curiosity and insight. Remember, these are all just my opinions and observations. Everything you need is already inside you, sometimes we just need a little reminding and support to “go there” and trust.

And I know that it’s likely you were expecting my next newsletter to be all about my labor and birth with Will. Don’t worry – that’s coming tomorrow, I promise! 

I’ve been feeling the need to reach out to my community and offer both perspective and support outside of my “story of becoming” into who and where I am now. So thank you for sharing this space with me, I am truly honored to be here with you – during this time and always.

 

If this post resonated with you, please share! I’ll be forever grateful as a small business owner.

 

Make sure you don’t miss a beat of this evolving conversation or my work by subscribing to my mailing list (and follow my Instagram & Facebook) so that you never miss a blog post, recipe, healthy lifestyle tip or workout – all created with your unique female body in mind. And if you’re interested in learning more about aligning your life with your feminine cycle NOW or desire to become a client of mine, please don’t hesitate to reach out: whitney@macksmo.com.

Photos by the wonderful Kate Porter.

Becoming A Mother {Part II}: Labor & Birth

April 22, 2020 by Whitney Mack Filed Under: Moming // Parenthood 3 Comments

This is Part II in my story of Becoming A Mother and all about my labor and delivery with Will {if you missed Part I of this story – all about my pregnancy – you can read it HERE}.

My water broke at a little after 10am on February 28. I was 42 weeks pregnant and exactly 2 weeks past my due date.

If I had not gone into labor on Feb. 28, I would’ve had to transfer care to a hospital and forego my dreams of a home birth. So needless to say, I was pretty stoked. I believed it was all happening for me, just as I’d “planned”.

“The Universe is on my side.” I thought. “I’ve got this.” 

But I had no idea the long road ahead and the unforeseen difficulties I would face over the next 16.5 hours to bring Will into this world…

My labor had a slow start and I didn’t really feel too much for the first few hours. I labored around the house, switching positions often, feeling restless. My midwife on call that day – Traci, came over to my house around noon to check on me and administer IV antibiotics because I had tested positive for group-b strep (something they test for late in your pregnancy). She said she’d be back in about 8 hours, unless my labor progressed faster.

I found myself most comfortable laboring on the toilet – partly because of the Midwive’s Brew (which, because of the castor oil, can cause diarrhea) and also (I have since learned) because it’s one of the places where we are most used to “opening” and the hole in the toilet seat supports that.

Regardless of labor “progress”, almost immediately, I began to implement the hypnobirthing techniques I’d learned.

Hypnobirthing, at its core, is all about the way you breath to allow a mother’s surrender to the natural process of labor. During labor, you have contractions (surges) in order for the baby to move down the birth canal and for the cervix to open. The muscles of your uterus contract (tense) and then relax. The principles of hypnobirthing believe that if you tighten against the muscle tensing (contraction), you are inadvertently interfering with the contraction and will thus experience pain. So by surrendering to the surges via your breath work & entering a self-hypnotic state, you can let the body do it’s work and remain “relaxed”; thus keeping out of the fear-tension-pain cycle I mentioned in my first post.

Hypnobirthing has two types of breath you utilize – I refer to them as labor breathing & birth breathing. For the labor breathing, on your inhales, you imagine filling a balloon (your belly) with air and expanding. On your exhale, you imagine your breath – or the balloon – floating up and out of your body. So the idea is open and release up versus contract and push out/bear down.

For almost 9 hours – from around 11am to close to 8pm, I sat in complete silence, engaging in this “labor breathing” on the either the toilet or the rocking chair in Will’s nursery; and two times in the bathtub. It took all my energy and focus to be present to each surge and breath my way through it. I couldn’t speak or eat. I was given water often, which I sipped through a straw, by my doula and Regan – and I could barely even muster the extra energy to open my mouth to do this. My doula twice gave me honey on a spoon, but that also took more effort than it was worth to me.

At some point during my labor (I had no concept of time), when the contractions began to intensify, my body would shake uncontrollably between surges. I was sitting perfectly still, but my body – especially my legs – would convulse / quiver as if possessed. Then as soon as a surge washed over me, it would stop completely. It was another wild sensation of labor that I had to practice surrendering to versus fighting or controlling, because doing so would impact my ability to stay “above” the surges and relax deeper between them.

Still to this day, my labor with Will is the most mentally & physically intense thing I have ever done.

Yet, through it all – for 9 hours of active labor,

I truly experienced NO. PAIN. 

I know that sounds crazy. Unbelievable, even. But I swear to you, it’s true. Zero pain. I realize it’s the opposite of what we’ve come to believe birth is. The vast majority of representations of birth in mainstream media or television is ALL pain, suffering. And I fully acknowledge that we all will have our own path within birth and sometimes that must BE pain because of where we’re at and what we must go through or learn to become a mother. But it’s also important to know what’s POSSIBLE and what we have the ability to co-create, to imagine, to practice.

And to be honest, it’s STILL challenging for me to even put to words the difference of feelings between the sheer, indescribable intensity of surrendering and opening my whole labor (which was so incredibly powerful and all-consuming) and yet no pain (as we experience and think about pain as hurting). Staying in my breath took everything I had. There were many times when my mind said, “I want this to be over” or “I can’t do this anymore”. During almost the entire time, those 9 hours, Regan was by my side. Encouraging and steady, often silent or using the partner-support hypnobirthing gestures he’d learned, tracing a light touch up & down my leg in symphony with my breath during the surges.

There came a time – I’m guessing around 7pm or so, that I asked to get in the bath for a second time. My doula advised that I stay out of the bath because she said it could slow my labor this late in the game. But I insisted, something in me knew it was right.

When I was in the tub, my breath suddenly changed. I was no longer able to let my exhale breath float up & out of me. Instead, my breath became choppy. It felt like when you’re driving on icy roads and when you brake, instead of coming to a complete & clean stop at a stop sign, your car kinda jerks forward a few times, then stops. Do you know what I’m talking about? It’s so hard to describe, but I could totally show you with my hands / sounds. 🙂 I would inhale up, then my breath would “jerk downwards” 4-5 times throughout the exhale. With this, my body was overtaken with this intense and instinctive desire to push. I told my doula, “I’m ready to push”, but she didn’t think it was possible as she said I hadn’t shown any signs of my labor progressing that far (this was because I had labored in complete silence and showed no “usual” outward signs that typically indicate late stages of labor). Due to the closeness of my contractions, however, my midwife had already been called and was on her way.

I wanted a water birth. Yet somehow, it didn’t then occur to me that this could happen in my small bathtub. But one hangup on remaining there – since I’d tested positive for group-b strep, I had to get another shot before I birthed Will (or at least it was strongly recommended because you’re supposed to get a shot of antibiotic every 12 hours for the health & safety of the baby) and my midwife didn’t want to have to stop me mid-push to administer it, should the labor & pushing take longer than expected.

When Traci arrived – right at this time, she requested I get out of the bathtub to administer the IV antibiotics and check my cervix to see how dilated I was. So I got out of the tub – amidst my desire to push. Looking back, it’s the point in which I feel like I abandoned my knowing in Will’s birth. Where I stopped tuning into my body & trusting. Where I let someone else tell me, “this is what comes next” versus what I FELT viscerally in every corner of my body. For so long, I had such deep regret around this, wishing I would’ve verbalized this knowing to Traci and asked to remain in the tub. But that wasn’t my path, nor Will’s, to arrive Earth-side. We both had more struggles to overcome.

By now it was around 8pm, and my midwife found that I was 9.5 cm (10 cm = fully effaced and ready to birth). So it was confirmed that my labor had progressed to “almost there” using my hypnobirthing techniques and that I likely had gotten the urge to push in the tub. This being my first birth, I thought that’s what the urge // sensation I’d experienced was, but I was unsure & still relying on what other’s told me was happening to me. It wasn’t actually until Felix’s birth that I would have personal confirmation that this WAS for certain the urge to push.

But now, before I could push, Traci and my birth assistant (a midwifery student from Bastyr) got me all ready to administer the IV antibiotic. But we had one problem. Even after putting on a tourniquet, they couldn’t locate a vein close enough to the surface to do it…they said, because I was so relaxed. They couldn’t believe how difficult it was. It took nearly an hour, going back & forth between arms, to successfully give me the antibiotic.

While I was getting poked, Regan and my doula were preparing the birth tub we’d rented. After I’d finally gotten the antibiotic, I climbed into the tub. Again, I felt ready. Determined.

“9.5 cm” I told myself, “He’s here, my baby is finally coming to me. I am relaxed and happy.”
(an affirmation I’d said so many times with the hypnobirthing tracks).

I don’t think anyone could’ve foreseen this flook of an obstruction to my labor – how long it would take to get the IV in – but nonetheless as time wore on, and I continued to labor in the tub, it was clear that my labor had slowed down to a crawl. I was no longer at the same stage where I felt the urge to push like in the bathtub. Even so, I had tried to shift my breathing to the birth breathing of hypnobirthing – also known as “breathing your baby down”. You still focus on expansion and opening on the inhale, but instead of letting the balloon “float up” on your exhale, your direct the breath downward to help “push” the baby out.

After about an hour in the tub with no changes in my surges or urges, Traci thought I should get out so she could assess what was happening while I was laboring // “breathing baby down”. As my next surge came – where I engaged in the birth breathing – she placed her hand inside my vagina and felt.

After a few surges of doing this, Traci then told me that my baby’s head was crooked in the birth canal. That for every exhale breath // pushing or breathing out, his head straightened, but made no forward progress. She said, “I know hynobirthing has worked amazing for you until now. But you’re going to have to really start pushing to get him out.”

What ensued next was 4.5 hours of grueling pushing.

Looking back, what made this stage of my labor so hard was that I didn’t understand how to both open and push. To hold space for both the ease of opening and the effort of pushing – within the same breath.

I had learned how to go inward and surrender to the power of the surges, but I hadn’t learned how to LET GO. That it was about the softening versus anything I would be “doing” (a lesson I would learn many times over in my postpartum & motherhood). Because I didn’t know how to let go; specifically how to let go FULLY in my pelvic floor so that my cervix could complete it’s final opening, I had to push through.

As a fitness instructor, regular exerciser and a woman, I’ve been constantly told my whole life – by media, by my peers, by fellow instructors, by fitness models, by the entire fitness & health industry – that I needed to keep my abs (my “core”) tight all the time.

But the first lesson that I was to learn from my birth was that there was equal value in being strong // having a strong center + core AND being able to fully relax and let go of ALL the tension // engagement. That strength we so value, without the ability to release or fully let go, is hindered; weakened. In exercise, if we’re always holding a muscle tight without equal release, we actually lose contractual capacity of said muscle; we lose power and adaptability. Life and birth, it turns out, are no different.

We are only as strong as our ability to ALSO release.

When I was pregnant, one of the most common things I heard was, “You’re so fit! Birth is like a marathon, you’ll have no problem.”

People told me that healthy, fit people have easier births. Well intended shares I’m sure, but in the end, totally not helpful because it shaped my expectations of what my labor & birth would be like. I neglected a huge piece of essential birth preparation – learning to PHYSICALLY let go of the constant contraction I held in my pelvic floor so that Will could pass through the birth canal. I have since learned, however, that this practice – combining the mental aspect of surrender with the physical release of letting core contractions fully soften – is NOT something we talk to mothers about, nor use as an (at least mainstream) technique to help them prepare. This practice would make the biggest difference in my birth with Felix, and something I work on with all my expecting momma clients now.

In truth, I think we’re doing women a disservice by focusing solely on birth as a physical event or even comparing it to a physical feat. Because it’s NOT like anything we’ve physically ever done before – it’s not about our ability to do & push through, it’s about releasing. About finding the delicate balance to being engaged, yet not controlling. It’s a spiritual event where mind & body surrender to the natural knowing of the body. Never in my fitness practice did I practice “letting go”, “releasing” or surrendering to find strength.

And here’s the other piece of the puzzle – our modern world operates from a primarily masculine paradigm, one that only values logic and the “doing energy”; not rest, intuition or release. Sadly, we women, have bought into this paradigm & subscribed ourselves to mostly existing and operating from this energy on the daily in all aspects of our lives. We’ve accordingly neglected the tending of our feminine qualities and practices – myself very much included. And as such, when we enter into birth – a distinctly feminine space of being, receiving and releasing – we are unpracticed and in unfamiliar territory. What should be natural for us is foreign. I could talk about this for ages – for it has now become my passion & work, but reconnecting to and learning to find the sacred dance between both the masculine and feminine energies would come to be the other vast difference in my birth with Felix.

Speaking of my birth… for last 4.5 hours of my labor, I tried various positions to try to push Will out.

And when I say PUSH, I am not exaggerating. The opposite of my hypnobirthing techniques, it an all out effort of using the full force of my breath, belly & physical body to try to figure out how to move Will through me.

Countless times, Traci would reinsert her fingers, pressing on my perineum and say “push here”. But somehow I could not direct my effort there and release at the same time. 

I tried pushing from a side lying position while Traci held my top leg up. I tried pushing from All Four’s. I sat in a Squat and labored there. I rotated these positions and sank into my determination. With Will, I always had enough rest between surges to gather my energy anew – and for this, I am grateful. Each surge though, it felt like my face and head was going to explode from the effort of pushing. I would grunt and turn red and “push” as hard as I could; just hoping THIS contraction would be the one that made the progress I needed.  I wanted to weep & wallow, but was also unwilling to even take a second to stop if it meant I could get Will out faster. 

Finally there came a time when Traci suggested that I move back to the toilet and labor there until I could feel the top of Will’s head starting to emerge. I interpreted this as good news; thinking I had to be close.

Although I later had the “bathtub regret”, I am so grateful for Traci’s guidance during this whole process. She was so steadfast. She never – in her mannerisms, suggestions or encouragement made me feel like I was either close to delivering Will or really far away from the possibility. It might seem odd, but this “unknowing” kept me going. If she had given me timelines, like “not much longer now” or “you’re getting close, just a few more”, I think it would’ve been harder and I would’ve focused on “getting there” versus being in the moment of every surge individually and putting ALL effort I had into each one. 

And when I was on the toilet, it didn’t take long for me to be able to reach down and feel the top of Will’s head, just a bit. I told Regan and he told Traci and she came in to get me (she was readying the living room space for my birth).

I assumed THE POSITION – for me, that being a squat. Fitting, I know. 🙂 

Regan was sitting on our red couch and my spine was upright against it. I was between his legs, my arms on his thighs and my hands interlaced with his hands, over his knees. Every time I pushed, I would press into his legs to lift myself up. He would later say that he thought I was going to squeeze his hands off and that he could feel the intensity of each push coursing through me as I grounded into his body to hold myself up.

Between those surges, I rested my hips on the ground (still in a wide squat position). I have no idea how many pushes it took, but finally I felt the “ring of fire”. This is when the baby’s head is crowning and the labia + perineum are at their point of maximum stretching (this is right before the final push(es) get their head, shoulders & body out).

To me, it felt like the most intense stinging sensation as the skin stretched. It also felt like a hallelujah and I knew I was finally almost done.

I gathered my energy one last time and pushed Will out into Traci’s hands at 2:33am on March 1…after 4.5 hours of pushing.

I wish I could say that once Will was out, I was elated and reveled in his presence; that time stopped and I felt immediately connected to my baby. But I didn’t. After almost 15.5 hours of laboring and pushing with my eyes closed, I came back to reality feeling hazy. We hardly had any lights on, yet I could barely open my eyes. My face felt swollen and my body drained. When I finally found my voice, I felt out of body when speaking. I held Will and felt like I was living in a dream, everything seemed so unreal. I showed him to Regan (still sitting behind me) and we commented on the crazy cone shape of his head (totally normal I guess, but very shocking). Not exactly the Kodak moment I had envisioned.

I still had yet to birth my placenta, but Traci thought I’d done enough pushing so gave me a shot to help along the process (I have since learned that this is called “active management” to help speed up the delivery of the placenta. Traci pushed on my uterus and pulled the placenta out by the umbilical cord). At this point, I passed Will to Regan to complete my birthing process. Once that was done, I was moved to my bed and holding Will, really saw him for the first time.

He latched well and began to suckle while the midwives tended to me and Regan leaned in. I remember feeling both connected to Regan and disconnected from the moment at the same time. My body shakes returned, this time because I hadn’t eaten in almost 24 hours. While Traci did all the newborn checks, I ate and honestly was still in such disbelief that Will was actually here, I had prepared so much for the doing – the labor, the birth, having our house prepared and all the baby things ready, that I hadn’t really stopped to think about the feeling. What it would feel like to be a mother, to hold my baby. Or for what I would feel afterwards – on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally and in every aspect of my being. 

The birth was done, my baby was here and we decided to name him Will Andrew (Patrick was the other hot contender). I had gone through so much to get Will here. Even so, I hadn’t yet begun to LIVE the complete transformation I had just undergone. I had no idea how my life, my body and my entire world would change. I didn’t know that with Will, I also had been born anew. That was one thing I had not prepared for – and it was about to rock my world.

 

{Stay tuned for Part III: Postpartum – Being a Mother & Healing}.

 

Becoming A Mother {Part I}

April 9, 2020 by Whitney Mack Filed Under: Moming // Parenthood Leave a Comment

(NOTE: This post is about my personal journey into becoming a mother. I know many of my clients, friends and readers have had a totally different experience and struggled to conceive. We each have our own stories. They are all valid and it’s important we share and support each other in our differences.If your journey is one of struggle or loss, I see you. I love you and hold you close to my heart. You are enough and your story matters. So much of conception and motherhood is hidden // unspoken // shame-filled in order to keep us SILENT and disconnected. It’s my goal to share my journey openly, in hopes it gives you courage to also share yours).

This, my love, is where it ALL BEGAN. And the story of the journey of getting to where I am now {Part I of II on “Becoming A Mother”}.

It was June 9, 2014. Regan and I operated our business – Macks Mo – out of our garage studio. In those days, we often worked out together and it was a time where I felt so aligned with my body for many reasons (I’ll name a few):

  • I had a morning & evening routine that created clarity, calm and headspace.
  • I had learned the value of varied workout paces; meaning: I learned that “going hard” all the time was not the most effective way to train – especially as a woman – so I switched things up based on how I felt that DAY (wondering what I’m talking about? Be sure to read this post, this post, this post and this one too. And a bonus one for mommas, here).
  • I was eating intuitively and slowly, setting my fork down between bites and filling my body only with food that made me feel good (which had a lot to do with quality, savoring and eating when I was hungry).

At the time, hopping on the treadmill for a warmup run was routine. “Back then”, my normal running speed was a 9, easy breezy. This day though (6.9.14), I stepped on the treadmill at that pace and immediately became winded. I could hardly run 1 minute before I had to step off. It felt like I had lead in my feet. And I burst into tears.

Not because I couldn’t run “per usual”, but because I knew I was pregnant. And they weren’t tears of joy. They were tears of overwhelm, fear and disbelief. I was totally not ready and unprepared. My business was exploding, I was right where I wanted to be – physically, professionally and in all areas of my life. If you asked us at the time, Regan and I were telling friends that kids were part of the plan in “maybe 2 years”. I was 29 and I was pregnant with Will – now my greatest surprise, gift and teacher. Then, my biggest shock. Regan was quite surprised by my tears and when asked what was wrong, I gave an exacerbated, “I’m pregnant.” He didn’t believe me, but a pregnancy test the next morning confirmed that we were now parents-to-be. Just like that, my life changed in an instant…

12 weeks pregnant with Will. Photo by @sarahheitmanphotography

Back track to the previous November (2013), I had my Mirena IUD taken out because it was the last thing in my life that felt “unnatural” or out of alignment with my current lifestyle. I began seeing an acupuncturist and tracking my cycle via basal body temperature (for the first time in my life). I didn’t want to get pregnant, but I did want to learn more about my body and get more in touch with that which made me uniquely feminine. My sessions with Elisa – my acupuncturist – also called me to dig deeper into my soul, my relationship to my body // my work // my stress, my purpose and she was the first person who “connected all the dots” – my first holistic “therapist” – where I could bring my whole self, talk about everything and be energetically opened, realigned & energized. Her work was life-changing for me, truly.

Side note: It’s at this time, that I also learned, from Elisa, that periods are innately designed to be pain-free and that any “symptoms” (read PMS) we have throughout our cycle, but especially from ovulation to menstruation are signals that something isn’t working for our body in our lifestyle, food or exercise. Read more about that here. I didn’t believe her at first either, if you’re rolling your eyes, he he. This set me on a path that, along with becoming a mother, would change the path of my business over the next 5 years. 

So here I was (back to 2014), pregnant. A new mother, responsible for growing & birthing a new life. None of our close friends were having kids. I knew *nothing* about pregnancy or birth at the time, but (not) coincidentally, I had been recently having discussions around birth with my then client & friend Jen, who had just began midwifery school at Bastyr. I myself had just completed my health coaching certification at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, so we’d spend hours talking about the similarities between the birth & wellness industry and how far society has moved away from the original and simple states of these two worlds (birth & healthy living // nutrition).

One of my midwives, Traci and I about a week before Will was born.

It was from these conversations that I was inspired to pursue a home birth, using a midwife. My Dad being a doctor and my mom a nurse, this was quite the unconventional approach. But driven by the strong trust I’d cultivated with my body, and the belief that birth was natural & needed no intervention (barring a pregnancy with no complications), I knew in my bones that a home birth was right for me (if you’re interested in one, the documentary The Business of Being Born is a great place to start). And to be honest, the idea of laboring naked in my own home and going to bed in my own bed, next to my husband sounded pretty rad. 🙂 So we interviewed a few midwives here in Seattle and landed with Seattle Home Maternity Service in Columbia City. (Note: I believe ALL mothers should be celebrated + empowered for whatever choice feels best to them – unmedicated, medicated, vaginal or c-section – while also being given truths about what each type of birth entails postpartum, for mom & baby).

Although I don’t have the alternative experience of working with an OB in a hospital setting, one of my favorite things about using midwives was although I had no idea “what to expect”, they put my unease for the unknown to rest by how casual and “normal” they made being pregnant and having a baby feel. They were encouraging, loving and EMPOWERING. They pushed me towards trusting my intuition deeper BECAUSE of how natural they made it all seem (which, by the way it IS normal and natural to be pregnant and have uncomplicated pregnancies & deliveries – and that’s what we should *expect*, while also helping mothers prepare for emergencies and the unexpected).

And yet, I had never seen a real birth in my life. In fact, I hadn’t really dealt with newborns or been around lots of babies either. I didn’t have close mom friends who’d gone before me and I had no idea what to expect. So I started “preparing” where I start most things – in my body. Somehow I knew birth was going to require a type of physical and mental surrender that I wasn’t good at (hello headstrong, controlling Aries over here!), so as soon as I got pregnant, I wrote some affirmations that I began reciting daily in my morning and evening routines.

Desperate for a sense of control in a time where I felt like I had none, these affirmations helped ground me into my body and made me feel that if I could believe it, I could also “do it”: 
– I could be a mom, even a good one – regardless of not wanting to be one, initially, at the time.
– I could feel connected to my baby and have a meaningful relationship in utero.
– I could learn to want to be a mom, and look forward to the changes it would bring.
– Even though I hadn’t done it before, I could birth a baby naturally, with ease.
– I could still have my big business dreams (and accomplish them) while being a mom.

41 weeks and 4 days pregnant with Will. Photo by @sarahheitmanphotography

Along with my own affirmations, I stumbled across hypnobirthing – a self-hypnosis and relaxation practice used to help women experience labor & birth with EASE and SURRENDER versus fear & anxiety. One main concept behind the method is that it keeps the mother out of the “fear-tension-pain cycle” that can make a woman’s labor &/or birth experience more difficult, painful and even possibly longer – no thank you! Hypnobirthing calls contractions “surges” and operates from the premise that if you drop into a self-hypnotic state, you work with your body to RELEASE & OPEN – a requirement of getting the baby out! – thus decreasing or eliminating pain.

I heard real life users of the practice describe “pain-free labors” and the experience of “breathing the baby down” versus pushing and struggling. Sounds pretty great, right? I thought so too, so enrolled in a 6-week course with Regan at Seattle Hypnobirthing with Tracy Adams. Along with the course, you are given 2 tracks to listen to: Rainbow Relaxation (which takes you through relaxing the entire body) and Affirmations For An Easy & Comfortable Birth. Since my baby was due Feb. 14, we had to sign up for a course in November as post-new year options finished after my due date. I am so grateful that it turned out this way because I listened to those tracks EVERY DAY for 3 months before Will came. And by the end of listening to them, I had gotten proficient at dropping into relaxation quickly and I firmly believed that I could have my baby with ease, at home. Using this technique helped me develop a confident connection to my baby, strengthened my trust with my body, and allowed me to lean into my intuition around becoming a mother.

There is, of course, so (SO!) much I wish I would’ve known, (that’s for another post soon re: birth & postpartum transparency), but overall, by the time Will’s due date came around, I felt “READY” (insert hand to forehead emoji here) to embark on this new journey. I had, after all, done “all the things” (what I thought were the *right* things) to prepare myself… 

  • I had done acupuncture weekly throughout my pregnancy to aid in relaxation and preparing my mind & body for labor and birth. And per the advice of my acupuncturist, I used the 9 months to slowly let go of things in my life so that there was “room” for my baby.
  • I had shifted my workouts from mostly HIIT with heavier lifting to moderate strength training and lighter endurance-based training (zero impact) that focused on slowing down, breathing and moving intentionally. My training goal was to support my changing body, not push or over-exert, taking energy away from my body’s hard work of making a baby. I also took some prenatal yoga classes (at this time, I was definitely NOT a “yogi”) which I LOVED. And I highly recommend taking these, if available, because (and especially for me – a new mom without mom friends), surrounding yourself with women going through the same things as you feels SO GOOD.
  • In addition to hypnobirthing, I hired a doula and took a one-on-one birthing course to get a better handle on birth itself. My birth educator happened to also be a women’s health physical therapist, which gave me some insight into healing properly postpartum as well.

And along with all this, my pregnancy had been SMOOTH and EASY. No pain, no trouble sleeping, no negative symptoms to speak of (like heartburn, acid reflux, morning sickness, etc.). So I figured – “I’ve got this and everything is going according to plan.” Not to mention that so many people had told me, “You’re so fit, you’re going to have an easy birth, no problem!” Not knowing any better, I thought to myself, “Well sure, that makes sense – it IS a physical endurance event, right?” (insert *another* head to forehead emoji here).

41 weeks and 4 days pregnant with Will. Photo by @sarahheitmanphotography

So on February 14 – Will’s due date, I was ready. But February 14 came and went. And so did the 15th, the 16th, the 17th and so on. A few days past my due date, I did a non-stress test at my midwives to make sure that Will’s heartbeat was still good and that he was moving around enough (all good there!). And despite the reassurance of my midwives that “it was normal to be late with your first baby”, I began to wonder if Will would ever come.

I had another non-stress test somewhere around a week past my due date and by 10 days overdue, I started to explore the possibility that I might not be able to have Will at home – which was a devastating prospect for me. I had an ultrasound around the same time to check my amniotic fluid (it was also good) and Will was happy as a clam in there.

By Friday, Feb. 27 – the day before I was 2 weeks overdue (aka 42 weeks), I had another midwife appointment where they attempted (a second) membrane sweep in hopes to gently induce labor. My cervix was nowhere to be felt and my midwife told me that as such, it was highly probable that I was also 0% effaced (when your cervix softens, shortens & thins as an early stage of labor). My heart sank and I fought back tears. If Will didn’t come the next day (Sat the 28th), I would have to transfer care to a hospital. Traci – one of my midwives, recommended that Regan & I try the Rebozo Method (a gentle shifting of the pelvis using a sheet that can help baby shift into position for labor, flip a baby or provide pain relief during labor) or see try seeing a chiropractor because it was possible my baby wasn’t in a position in my pelvis that was initiating labor. She also gave me a vile of medical grade verbena oil for use in making myself a Midwive’s Brew on Saturday morning, in the event that my labor didn’t start overnight. 

41 weeks and 4 days pregnant with Will. Photo by @sarahheitmanphotography

To be honest, I so firmly believed in my home birth, I didn’t even entertain the idea that I’d have to have my baby in a hospital. But upon the recommendation of my midwife, I started working on a backup plan at 13 days overdue. Through a friend, I found a high risk OB (you’re considered high risk once you go past 42 weeks) in Everret, WA – a good hour drive from my West Seattle home (one way) without any traffic – that was willing to let me avoid being induced up to 43 weeks, but I would also have to get a non-stress test every day at said hospital. This raised my spirits a bit, for I was at least still hopeful for a natural birth. I also reached out to my acupuncturist for a chiropractor recommendation and it just so happened that he lived in West Seattle! I called Dr. Stefan Black immediately and he was able to schedule me in for that Friday afternoon.

I had never been to a chiropractor before, and despite the apprehension of trusting my body to an unknown manual therapy, I was desperate to exhaust all means necessary to try to get this baby out before Sunday. After some big cracks, I left Dr. Black’s office with an appointment for the next morning as a follow up, should it be needed. Once home, Regan and I did the Rebozo method a few times – and all other wive’s tails to induce labor – then I went to bed early in hopes I’d soon be wakened with labor pangs. 

Me drinking the first half of the Midwives Brew on 2.28.

With no such luck, I woke to my alarm at 7am on Saturday morning. I had planned to take half the Midwive’s Brew  – a mix of the verbena oil, apricot juice, peanut butter and castor oil blended into a “shake” before my 8am appointment with Stefan (my midwife recommended doing half, then the other half 2 hours later). Another series of cracks later & still no sign of labor, I rushed home to drink the other half of the shake at 9am on the dot. You guys – I literally LICKED the blender clean. I was determined to waste not a single drop of this precious potion. Then, I waited. I listened to my hypnobirthing tracks a few times and was feeling ansy. It’s so wild to have no control over the single most significant moment of your life – when it will happen, how it will happen or even where it will happen to a degree – and just be WAITING. I remember getting up to go to the bathroom & feeling a “click” in the front of my pelvis as I sat down (but I thought nothing of it at the time). Then I moved my “waiting station” to a big exercise ball and started down hip circles.

As I was doing the hip circles, on our carpeted living room floor, a little after 10am on Saturday, February 28, two weeks exactly past my due date, my water broke. A huge gush of liquid went everywhere. I recall shouting to Regan with excitement, then going to change while he came & cleaned up.

My labor began and my baby was coming. 

{stay tuned for Part II dropping later this week}.

 

What’s The Moon Got To Do With It?

April 2, 2020 by Whitney Mack Filed Under: Healthy Living Inspiration, Moming // Parenthood Leave a Comment

It’s been over a year since I’ve done much writing here. So much has happened for me during that time; mostly slow and behind the scenes, in person versus online – in business, body and life. The biggest milestone has been adding a new baby boy {Felix Austin} to our brood! He is the biggest joy, boasts a smile and twinkling eyes that will melt your heart (speaking from a totally non-bias perspective 😉 and his favorite person is definitely big brother Will. 

I know for all of us, so many things are in flux right now. I want you to know that I am here to support you. Community and connection are everything to me, and I am so grateful to share this space with you.

Today I am specifically popping in to touch base and let you in on a shift my business has been slowly making over the last 4 years. My work in the “health & fitness world” began as a fitness instructor ten years ago. After earning my holistic health coaching certificate from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in 2013, I added healthy lifestyle and nutrition coaching to the mix. Fast forward to now and the majority of my work is helping women align the way they live, exercise, eat, work, mother and connect to the incredible, {mostly untapped} power of their feminine cycle. This life-changing shift ignites more ease, flow & joy, and allows for a more grace-filled + enjoyable way of living that we all crave.

So, buckle up buttercup, because today, I’m going to be share a taste of my work and why it’s vital for all women to tap into their hormonal advantage – always, but especially right now.

You see, the modern // mainstream approach to happiness and wellness (fitness + food included) simply put, does NOT work for women. Why? Because of our unique physiology! I love this analogy to highlight how men and women are different and accordingly why we need different paradigms from which to live:

  • Men are like the SUN hormonally – repeating an entire cycle every 24 hours. Lifestyle and food factors that influence how one feels aside, men can expect the same energy, mental capacity and performance from their body & mind daily. It’s consistent, predictable. The way our society has been built – from the way we work, how we’re taught to goal set & achieve, to the diets we’re prescribed and the workouts we’re told are “the most effective” – centers around this 24 hour clock. This 24 hour clock is what we know as the CIRCADIAN RHYTHM. 
  • Women, on the other hand, are like the MOON. We are different EVERY. DAY. Every day over your 28-35 day average cycle, your hormones are CHANGING. And contrary to popular belief, this is ALSO predictable – just on a different time table than men. Each day the moon rises, she’s a different shape, size & energy. The female body mimics this design and throughout your cycle, YOU also wake up each day with DIFFERENT, cyclical: energy, cognitive super powers, relational & productivity strengths and physical needs (to name a few).
    • Like the MOON’s four distinct phases – new moon, waxing, full moon & waning, we also have four distinct phases to our MENSTRUAL cycle – menstruation, follicular phase, ovulation and the luteal phase; which ALSO happen to align & mimic the four SEASONS of the Earth – winter, spring, summer & fall. I know. Like WHOA, right?
    • And guess what else? During our reproductive years (over half our lives)!, women have their OWN, second biological clock from which we operate – the INFRADIAN clock // rhythm – which is the length of our personal menstrual cycle, versus the cycle of a single day (before puberty and after menopause, we return to the circadian clock to guide our bodies). This clock and the hormone fluctuations we experience over the course of our cycle impact everything we experience, feel and do as women (even when we’re unaware of it). It’s the reason we feel and ARE different every day we wake (physically, emotionally, mentally and relationally).
    • And it’s for these reasons, that women need an entirely different blueprint from which we operate in order to FEEL our best and not be *fighting* our body’s innate design. 


As a woman, it’s really important for you to know & understand this because the current world we live in wasn’t built for how YOU ARE BUILT biologically and physiologically. And all the lifestyle, productivity, diet and exercise “hacks”, advice or best practices the mainstream media is telling you comes from studies done on MEN (typically ages 18-22). Women are rarely included in studies because our menstrual cycle makes data “complicated” and “unpredictable” (when really, we just need to be studied based around our menstrual cycle and because we are different than men during our reproductive years). I know. Mind blown, right?

 

Or perhaps you’re feeling a bit skeptical and wondering, “If this is true, why have I never heard this before?” A valid question. And one that I found myself mulling over when I first came across this conversation four years ago. I’m not going to sugar coat it – when you start to live in alignment with the four distinct phases of your cycle, it is LIFE-CHANGING. You will awaken pieces of your body, mind and spirit that cause you to live more and do less. And you’ll find that lots of little “knowings” you’ve had (but ignored) or things you’ve “noticed” (but couldn’t find a pattern to them) all. start. to make. sense.

 

If you’re like me, you’re probably wanting some specific examples of HOW the Infradian rhythm affects your health, right? I’ve got you. First up: Have you ever experienced feeling super energized + light in your body, “killing” your workouts one week, then the next week find yourself STRUGGLING, with low energy? Your motivation went on vacation & you’re thinking, “why can’t I stick with something?” You don’t know why you’re feeling sluggish in the workout you soared through days ago and you wonder: “WTF is wrong with ME and why can’t I perform or feel the same consistently?” You’re frustrated with your body and the negative thoughts keep going. Or worse yet, you’re finding that despite “eating clean” // dieting and working out consistently (and hard), you’re gaining weight or at the very least literally making no progress. Been there? Yeah, me too. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Let me silence that inner critic with a little known secret – the REASON for this (totally common, but not normal) swing in motivation, performance, body composition and energy? Yep, you guessed it. Your physiology. As a female, your body aligns with different types of workouts at different times throughout your cycle; which is why you’ve likely experienced feeling “awesome” doing something one week, then totally frustrated with your (lack of) performance doing the SAME THING the next. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For pre-menopausal women, working out *the same* every day or even having the same weekly routine on repeat will do one of two things – DEPLETE us OR foster a RESTLESS, STUCK & ANXIOUS energy (depending on HOW you’re working out and what movement you’re doing WHEN in your cycle).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you want to feel best in your body, it’s key to shift the focus or modality of your workouts with the 4 distinct menstrual // moon phases or “seasons” of your cycle and between your low and high hormone phases. Crossfit or heavy strength training? Only works for about ⅓ of your cycle (before menopause). Running – about half. Pilates or barre – same. HIIT – about ⅓.

 

And here’s one thing mainstream media or the fitness industry *definitely* doesn’t tell you (or know) – that IF you do high intensity // high impact interval training or heavy weight lifting during the wrong part of your cycle, you’ll turn ON fat storage and muscle wasting. Yikes!

 

Let me give you another example – just in case you’re still not totally buying in. 🙂 Let’s talk about food. A woman’s body metabolizes carbohydrates & fat differently between the high & low hormone phases of her cycle. So what does this mean for you? Diet trends like Paleo // Keto // Intermittent Fasting (and many others) work *against* your metabolism in the long run because they only physiologically align with half your cycle. And for the record, women don’t do well on super low-carb diets.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ultimately, most diets (the above included) end up down-regulating your endocrine system (aka messing up your hormones), suppressing the thyroid and spiking cortisol / stress – which all undermine your efforts to feel your BEST + get results you desire (I learned this science from @drstacysims).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In addition, things like alcohol, coffee and sugar are ALSO metabolized better in one phase of your cycle and can trigger fat storage during the other. And for every “season” // phase of your cycle, specific foods best support your biology + hormones (@alisa.vitti taught me this):
? Spring // Follicular = fermented foods
? Summer // Ovulation = raw foods
? Fall // Luteal = root vegetables
? Winter // Menstruation = healthy fats.

 

You might also be wondering: “Why is this relevant right now?” If there’s anything that’s become super clear during this pandemic, it’s that our health – specifically our immunity, matters. And as women, our immunity is directly impacted by our cycle; particularly by how we exercise, eat and live (aka our lifestyle). For instance, we boast better immunity during the first half of our cycle, but it takes a natural dip during the second half (a protective mechanism for possible pregnancy so your body doesn’t attack the fetus), so it’s vital we support the second half of our cycle – the luteal phase – in a way that doesn’t deplete our body, thus making us more vulnerable to colds & infections. Simple ways we deplete? Inadequate sleep, over-consuming sugar // caffeine // alcohol // dairy // gluten, over-extending ourselves re: commitments, not finishing tasks we started (aka being stretched too thin), HIIT exercise or high impact activities, high levels of chronic (constant) stress.

Most of us have been taught that our menstrual cycle affects only our reproductive health – so we tend to ignore it until we “need it” (to have children), but according to Alisa Vitti – creator of the cycle syncing method and author of the must-read book In The Flo, the Infradian rhythm affects EVERY BIOLOGICAL SYSTEM OF YOUR BODY:

  1. The Brain
  2. The Immune System
  3. Your Metabolism
  4. Your Microbiome (gut health)
  5. Your Stress Response


Is it starting to make sense now why attending to your unique female biology and physiology is so important? The world has taught you to look outside our bodies to figure out how to eat, how to exercise, how to work and how to live. It’s told you that you must fit into the “box of the circadian rhythm” that dictates you be the same every day (which, as you can see, you are not). Are you starting to understand now why this is such a harmful paradigm for women during our reproductive years? Can you imagine how your life would’ve been different if at puberty, you were told:

 

“Your body is about to change in the most amazing way. Soon, you are going to wake up feeling different every day on every level – physically, mentally, emotionally and relationally. The world will tell you that this isn’t normal, but it IS. So it’s important to begin the ritual of checking IN with your amazing body daily – to ask “What do I need today?” For in this cycle lies your unique feminine strengths & gifts that you didn’t have access to before this moment. Your body will never betray you, she is here to guide you towards becoming your truest self. Trust her, and know that everything you feel and know inside is both important to feel and REAL. You can ignore every diet and exercise trend; and anything else that teaches you that you need to CHANGE your body, to shrink, to be smaller or not take up space. All you need to access your inner knowing, to tap into your power is to turn INward.”


Just take that in for a moment. For me – if I would’ve known that I was meant to feel a huge spectrum of emotions – that this was both normal and good, and through these I was able to experience life to its fullest, maybe I wouldn’t have grown up feeling misunderstood and like I needed to be so independent; perhaps I would’ve learned sooner to ask for help and lean on my “sisters” (friends & family) instead of believing that I could and had to figure things out on my own. Maybe I also would’ve found a healthier way to express anger. If I had known that my body was on my side, not something to manipulate, but a partner rather – perhaps I would’ve sought out a more gentle approach to everything: to nourishing with food (versus dictating & restricting), to energizing with movement (versus pushing & over-exerting), to following my creativity and passions (versus believing my worth lay in my productivity, so I always had to be “doing” versus allowing space to be), and to know that ALL of us women were MEANT to be and look different – and it was our differences that were cause for celebration and collaboration (versus comparing, criticizing and excluding).

How would it have been different for you?


For all of these reasons and examples – now more than ever, I think aligning your life with the feminine is crucial. Did you know that 50% of all women have some degree of hormone dysfunction right now? And that hormone dysfunction leads to painful & heavy periods, uncomfortable & downright miserable PMS, skin issues, gut dysbiosis, brain fog, migraines, extreme fatigue, weight gain and stubborn weight – to name just a few. We have more “resources” on health, wellness, nutrition and exercise than ever before, yet this information isn’t creating better health for us, in fact, quite the opposite. One in four women will get a full-blown autoimmune disease ten years postpartum after their first baby and infertility rates are on the rise.

For so long, women have been working & living from the space: “I can do everything a man does and more.” And in many ways, this has served us – we’ve accomplished so much. But I also see that we are exhausted, burned out, struggling with energy, body weight, self worth and work-life “balance” in a way that our male counterparts are not. What gives?

I think perhaps that in trying to do things like a man, we’ve abandoned the power and immense value of doing things like a woman. We’ve ignored our biology and silenced the place where our power lives – INSIDE us. Even we women have accepted and subscribed to the idea that we have to BE like a man in order to achieve equality. But there’s one problem here – women are not small men. I’ll say it again: WOMEN. ARE. NOT. SMALL. MEN {shoutout to Stacy Sims for this amazing catch phase & truth}. 

I think the next step in revolutionizing our lives (and the world around us) starts by stepping back into our bodies and forging a way of living, working and being that fully supports who we are (biologically & physiologically) AND what we’re here to do in the world. {For more insight on my call to feminism and aligning with the feminine, click HERE and listen to this video}. 

So if you’ve ever felt: “there has to be a better // easier // more joyful way” to feel how you want in a life and body you LOVE, you’re right – there IS. And if you’re interested in learning more, stay tuned. It’s my goal to bring this female-focused framework to ALL of you, so you can start working WITH your body’s physiology, not against it. Ladies: I think it’s time we took back our bodies and started leveraging our hormonal advantage (as cycle syncing queen Alisa Vitti says). 

I’m so excited to share this work with you. If this resonated with you (or blew your mind 🙂 and you feel called, PLEASE share with your friends, co-workers, neighbors, sisters, community and family. One thing I’m always wondering – how would my life, my youth, my teens & twenties been different had I known this information? I know for sure that in place of self-loathing, body issues, always chasing the next big diet or exercise trend and trying to fit myself into a box that is totally out of alignment with my female biology (which takes up SO much headspace, right?!) — I could’ve offered my younger self up a lot more grace, love, empathy, ease and joy. All the things we DESERVE and NEED, right now.

My hope for you, as we share this space, is to never have to look outside yourself for answers again.

So that you don’t miss a beat of this evolving conversation or my work, make sure you’re subscribed to my mailing list (and follow my Instagram & Facebook) so that you never miss a blog post, recipe, healthy lifestyle tip or workout – all created with your unique female body in mind. And if you’re interested in learning more about aligning your life with your feminine cycle NOW or desire to become a client of mine, please don’t hesitate to reach out: whitney@macksmo.com.

Next week I’ll be sharing WHERE IT ALL BEGAN for me. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you: how would knowing this information have changed things for you? Does it change your perspective moving forward? Do you have any other questions? We’re in this together. I’m here for you and I love you. xoxo. – W

 

PS: If this *didn’t* resonate with you, feel free to unsubscribe from my mailing list. I wish you the best and appreciate all the support you’ve given me over the years. Big hugs.

 

PPS: I want to give credit to my amazing mentors and the trailblazers in this conversation who began my journey into + continue to expand my knowledge in this work: Sarah Jenks, Alisa Vitti, Kate Northrup, Claire Baker and Dr. Stacy Sims. Your work has changed my life. I am forever grateful.

Photos by: me, my dear friend Heather Brincko and the wonderful Kate Porter.

ABOUT US

If you are MOtivated to accomplish a goal, you will do whatever it takes to get there. Once you determine your goal, you must set that goal in MOtion. If you were given all the resources along with a step-by-step roadmap to those goals, what is to stop your MOmentum toward that goal?

Read more

LATEST FROM THE BLOG: Put MO In, Get MO Out

The Question That Can Change Your Life & Body {And How You Feel IN Both}

Do You Crash Post-Workout?

Summer Sangria + The Perfect Party Side {or Main Dish}

Get The Meaningful, Fulfilled (Soulful, Joyful, Healthful) Life You Want. Simplified + Supported.

Cycles + Seasons

  • About
  • Nutrition Coaching
  • Health Coaching
  • Seattle Classes
  • Contact

Copyright © 2022 Macks Mo, LLC · All Rights Reserved